2017 was full of exaggeration. Yung highs ko, high na high talaga. Then yung lows ko, low na low din talaga. Addict lang ang peg.
2017 started with a high kasi birthday ko. My friends were there to welcome my natal day at 12 am. It was also in 2017 when Alvin, Anika and I were granted a 10 year US visa. Ang saya ko, si Alvin not too much. Female kasi siya sa US Visa niya. Nabwiset. Hahaha. But we already took care of it and maayos na siya now.
I went to visit Arnaiz in February. After 20 years, I went back to the land of the free.
It was one of my most special trips because Arnaiz, Pineda and I were able to get together and spend time in L.A.
Ang saya saya talaga.
It was also in 2017 when Anika celebrated her 7th birthday. We threw her a surprise party. I know she loved it kasi naiyak talaga ang lola niyo.
Instead of having a grand birthday party, nagShakey’s lang kami. Kasi Alvin took us to Malaysia and Singapore the week after that.
It was again a very memorable trip for me because after so many years, I saw my childhood bestfriend, Hannah again.
And then came the low.
Anika was hospitalized twice this year. The first one was so scary because the pedia cardiologist suspected that she had a hole in her heart. I do not know if over acting lang siya or he just wanted to teach his resident paano mag-2D echo but I am just grateful Anika’s heart is okay.
Lahat ng santo tinawag ko. I’ve never been so freaking scared in my entire life.
We are very thankful that, albeit the heart beat skipping, she is fine.
The next exaggerated low for last year is when I had this anxiety disorder that I am still under medication and therapy until now. I had so much learnings. Para siyang isang malaking dagok sa akin because I have been become super engrossed with all the things I had to do.
I have learned that I have pushed myself too far. I am over worked and over stressed, not only at work, but in life in general. I have become so uptight and I controlled everything so that they will be in order all the time. That is the alpha female in me kasi. I tired myself too much kaya when nagkasakit kaming 3 sabay sabay, bumigay ako.
During the first two weeks of therapy, the medicines helped me relax. While I was in that state, I was able to correct my feelings and attitude towards things. Pwede naman pa lang hindi perfection ang lahat lahat. I was able to stop and smell the roses. Hindi pala kailangan lagi kang may iniisip. We need to relax once in a while.
Because of what I went through, I prayed more. I prayed and prayed to a point na nahiya na ako kay God kasi parang dahil ang dami kong ginagawa everyday, nakalimot na ako magdasal. Kaya Niya ako siguro dinagukan. I believe na in the saying that God pushes you to your knees so you can pray.
Hindi ko naman sinasabing super nagbago but I have a better relationship with Alvin (I think ha). During that time, we were able to talk. Ang bait niya din sa akin nung time na yun kasi maybe because I was very needy. Wala yung high strung and stressed Fleur that was always there. I think our husbands like that. They like us talaga na submissive and tahimik lang. Hahahaha. I think Alvin likes it better na need na need ko siya compared dati na feeling niya I can live without him. Ang laki talaga ng binait niya sa akin eh. Tingnan niyo, now that I am kinda back to my normal self, bumalik din yung normal self niya na deadma. So that means, meron talagang effect when I change my attitude towards him. Learn from me, mga mare. If we want to change our husbands ng konti, we should start on ourselves first. Effective kasi eh.
Come last quarter of 2017, eto na ang all time high talaga.
We finished renovating our old family house and transferred there.
If you’re asking, kami lang nina Alvin ang nakatira diyan. Wowa and my brothers have their own condominiums (DMCI Homes, ofcourse) while Lolo Papa lives in Amsterdam. LT and Faye both live in their own homes too. House na namin yan and I love how it turned out. We achieved what we were targeting: maaliwalas, maganda ang lights and comfortable.
2017 was full of learnings especially for me.
I’ve realized that physical and mental health is more important than anything else. Hindi ka dapat nagpapakamatay sa trabaho kasi sisingilin ka din niyan in the future. Eventually, marami ka ngang pera pero ang sakitin mo naman. Remember, stress is the primary source of all illness. We need to learn to relax.
We should continuously pray.
Family is everything.
You do not need a lot of friends, only true ones. Kahit isa or lima lang yan, okay na lang basta totoo sila sayo.
Remove the toxic people in your life. If you cannot, just don’t mind them.
Help other people. Teach others. Hindi ka nila makakalimutan.
Ayan… That’s it guys. Finish na ang emote ko for the year that has been. Despite everything, I am thankful for 2017. I shall try to blog more often. Yan ang resolution ko. I want na ibalik yung everyday blogs ko. I stopped because nagrereklamo si Alvin na blog ako ng blog. Ngayon he wants me to blog kasi he realized na outlet ko talaga ito. Kita niyo nagka-anxiety disorder ako when I stopped blogging hahahaha. That’s my advice for 2018. Find your passion. Find what makes you happy and do it. Good luck guys and cheers to 2018!!!!