Dress: Miss Selfridge; Shoes: NINE WEST
Hey guys. I hope your week went well.
Mine’s not that good bandang middle of the week. Last Wednesday and Thursday, grabe my panic attacks that came from nowhere! My palpitations usually happen in the morning when I wake up and right before 9am. Consistent yan. However, itong Wednesday and Thursday, ang wild nung attacks! It was so bad that nung Wednesday morning, while waiting for my classes to start, I had to call Alvin from inside the car. I felt hindi ko na talaga kaya. I was crying and panicking for no reason at all. Alvin told me to calm down and go na to the class and makipagchismisan na lang daw ako sa mga classmates ko. Inayos ko yung fez ko and went inside our classroom. True enough, naging okay naman ako ng slight.
When I went home nung Wednesday night, Alvin told me that he went to his mom’s house to talk to her about me. I knew nagworry si Alvin ng wagas kasi he doesn’t do that usually. Alvin also told me that he talked to Fr. Ariel (his friend and the priest who married us) about me. When I learned that, I knew worried na worried nga ang Sombrero. Nagpunta na sa pari eh. I also learned that my mother-in-law consulted with a doctor to ask what I can do to ease my attacks.
According to the doctor (hindi ko na papangalanan pero sikat siya), I should try to see daw a psychologist.
I said, okay. Hanap ako ng psychologist. I have not tried that yet.
Then low and behold, last Wednesday, my professor for my first class in our Middle Manager Development Program was Dr. Cynthia Gavino, PhD. She’s a clinical psychologist. She’s a lecturer and assistant professor of Family Ministries and Pastoral Counseling at the Loyola School of Theology in Ateneo. She’s also a senior family counselor of the Center of Family Ministries.
Pero para sa akin, isa siyang hulog ng langit from God.
For two days, we discussed about ourselves. It was all about getting to know who we are. Grabe ang kinalma ko after that. I love Dra. Gavino. She’s so good at explaining everything. Partida, hindi pa ako nagcoconsult sa kanya. I was just a student in her class pero I was amazed how she was able to explain to us bakit tayo ganito, san nahugot mga ugali natin etc etc.
Nung Thursday night, after boxing, I was crying all the way home while driving. I was so sad. Sabi ko bakit ba parang forever na yata akong ganito. Ayaw ko. I went to the Adoration Chapel to pray. Hindi naman ako masyado nagtagal kasi umaalingaw-ngaw yung singhot ng sipon ko. Nahiya ako dun sa dalawang nagdadasal so I went home. Pagdating ko sa house, nandun si Janis with our other childhood friend. May lakad siya pero dumaan muna sa house to hug me. I’m really grateful I have friends like her. Alvin told me to check out na the psychologist.
At the end of the two day class (dun sa subject namin with her), Dra. Gavino told us about the Center for Family Ministries. They do daw counseling. Perfect. Yung lang, ang layo ng Ateneo. Yesterday, I called them. Bakasakali ba, ganun. I was super happy to know that they have CeFAM also at Don Bosco in Makati! Magpapaschedule ako!
I have an officemate. I was telling him about the psychologist. Sabi niya para san. Sabi ko counseling. Sabi niya bakit daw hindi sa friends and sa family. Sabi ko naman, maganda pagnakakausap mo yung family and friends mo. Okay yun. Pero hindi naman masama kung isupplement with a psychologist kasi (1) they have a technical and scientific know-how for it and (2) maganda din yung may point of view ng ibang tao.
Di ba?
Of course, prayers prayers prayers.
Anyway, okay naman ako guys in some days. Meron lang talaga tayong tinatawag na bad days and I think that is fine. I just have to learn how to deal with it. I have to understand it. Keribelles mga bakla, do not worry about me. But super thank you for the daily messages. I really appreciate them.
Osha, I’ll tell you all about it pagnaka-punta na ako.
Good night guys!