Hello muthers!
It’s been almost a week since I last updated. Ang dami kong kwento!
Lemme start with the most recent muna.
Last Friday, after my class, I went to see a psychologist at In Touch Community in Forbes, Makati. One of my blog readers recommended it to me. My counsellor was a woman (around in her 50s siguro) and she was very kind. She asked everything about me from my childhood to the present. So the first 20 minutes was spent with me making kwento from the time nagka-muang ako sa buhay until the present. I told her about the anxiety depression in 2003 and the one that I am experiencing now. I told her everything.
I was so amazed how she was able to explain everything to me after that. Ang galing grabe! There were no judgements and I had so many realizations. She told me not to worry because we will work out together how I will be able to reconcile the issues. Dapat talaga you complement your psychiatrist with the psychologist because you have to look for the main reason of the cause of all those feelings. That is important. Only after realizing the main cause, you work towards how to handle it. I think that is the right way how to tackle people with similar condition like mine.
I left In Touch Community na ang gaan gaan ng feeling. I felt so relieved to know a lot of things I didn’t know before. I felt hope. I told Alvin about it and he was happy too. Sama daw siya if i-require. Malamang ipasama daw siya next time so he can understand me better. Diyos ko, sana tuloy tuloy na nga ito. Sana this is it. I am terribly impatient to be back to my normal self. But I have to ride it out talaga and trust the process, so fine. The important thing that there are steps towards healing, kahit na super baby steps siya.
Kaya ang ganda ng aura ko kamo in this photo last Saturday.
After my counselling session I went to BGC to go around muna because it was so traffic going home. I bought books, ate shawarma while walking and bought some stuff at Stoked for Alvin kasi 50% off sila. At around 9pm I decided to go home because I was still going to pass by Janis’ house to give her something.
Pagdating ko sa Merville exit, sobrang haba ng line! I was so sleepy already. I opened na my car windows. I was vibering with Janis too kasi I had to tell her that I’ll be late. After 30 minutes in that stupid line to the toll, I tried to look for something in my bag when BAM!!!
Punyeta, I left my car gear in Drive and I wasn’t stepping on the brakes pala. I hit the car in front of me!
I got so nervous! It was completely my fault!
I went out the car to see the damage. Although mahina lang ang bangga because traffic, I saw that the car I hit was brand new! Wala pang plaka! Pakshet talaga!
A man started going out of the car. Paglabas niya, I noticed agad na millennial ang porma. Shucks ka-age ko. Baka magalit ng wild. When he went out, sorry ako agad ng sorry. When I looked up, first thing I noticed was pogi siya then after parang wait..
ME (to the driver): Oh my God. Wait. Kilala kita!
He looked at me and scrunched his face ng slight.
ME: Fleur! Ako si Fleur!
He was like, “Fleur!” and he made beso.
Tapos ako, “I’m so sorry! I’ll have it fixed! So sorry talaga I left the gear in drive! So sorry!”
We inspected the damage with me saying sorry like 10,000 times. There were like 4 small dents on his bumper. Maliliit lang pero bagong bago talaga kotse niya eh. Hiyang hiya talaga ako, men.
And you know what? The guy, a friend who for the life of me I cannot place saan ko ba siya naging friend, told me not to worry about it. SIya na daw ang bahala.
I was like, “Nooooooooo! Nakaka-hiya. Akin na please, ako na magpapagawa.”
He said wag na daw kasi wala naman umangat. Puros dent lang daw. Siya na daw bahala kasi covered na ng insurance niya.
I was super insisting na I’ll have it fixed.
DRIVER: Wag na Fleur. Ano ka ba! Maliit na bagay. Ako na bahala diyan. Sige na pumasok ka na sa car.
Insist ako ng insist and sorry ng sorry hindi ko namalayan, na-isakay niya na ako sa car ko. While seated, I asked if he can get my number or vice versa, tawagan niya kako ako baka he’ll change his mind.
Ayaw talaga.
I asked who was he with and he said he was with his wife and kid. I asked him to please extend my apologies. Okay daw.
So there.
I have kind friends. He was a gentleman all throughout kahit na I know gusto niya na ako siguro sakalin sa inis. I mean, sinong nababangga while in traffic?! Sobrang engot na talaga. Ako yun. Napaka-engot.
I just wish I can remember who he is and apologize and thank him again. Hanggang ngayon I am whacking my brains to find who he is. I know friend ko siya from somewhere. Hindi ko ma-place if from the village, in CSA or in La Salle. Work kaya? Parang hindi eh. Grrrrrrrr!
Anyway, I prayed last night to thank God for everything. I prayed everyday since January and I asked Him to please point me to someone who can actually help me and He did! I am going back to my counsellor next, next week. I thanked God also hindi monster yung nabangga ko. I cannot imagine the stress and anxiety that I would have gone through kung salbahe yung driver!
Di ba?
Anyway, if you need, here are the contact numbers of In Touch Community Services:
Website: https://www.in-touch.org/
Address: In Touch Community Services 48 McKinley Road, Makati City, Metro Manila,
(at Holy Trinity Church Offices)
Contact numbers: +63 2 893 1893 / +63 2 810 6233
They also have a free 24 hour crisis line so you can call them whenever you feel that you need to talk to somebody. You can be anonymous so no problem:
+63 2 893 7603 (Landline)
+63 917 800 1123 (Globe)
+63 922 893 8944 (Sun)
I hope makatulong ito!