Top: @KOKOANDVAN; Pants: UNIQLO; Bag: @QUIRKMANILA; Shoes: ALDO; Sunglasses: PRADA
Hey everybody! It’s been 10 days since I last posted!
I know! I know!
I was expecting also that since I’ve been home for almost a month now, I should have more blog posts. That’s not happening because Koreanovelas happened. Hahahaha! Pero in fairness to me naman mga bakla, I was able to shoot some videos for my VLOG. Editing a video blog is a lot harder and more tedious than blogging. Since ang bagal ko pa, it takes me almost half a day to edit a video. But don’t worry kasi bumibilis na ako ng slight. I am discovering techniques like saved formats para mas mabilis. That means, expect more video blogs to come!
So to update you guys, it’s been 27 days since my operation. I’m feeling better. It’s not painful anymore to walk. However, I cannot walk or stand for a long time. Kumikirot. Whenever I feel that, I sit down and rest. I know you see me na parang lakwacha ng lakwacha nowadays pero 85% of the time, nakaupo lang ako nun. I just need to get out of the house kasi feeling ko masisiraan ako ng bait. Yeah, I have the Koreanovelas with me. I have enough series to watch 24/7 for the next 30 days pero nakakabobo din mga bakla yung nanonood lang the whole day. It keeps me entertained pero feeling ko nangangalawang yung utak ko. That is why I still “work” a few times a day. My work viber groups are very active kaya ume-epal ako every now and then.
I also shop a lot. I have a lot of free time in my hands so nagdedefault mode ako: SHOPPING. Hindi cool. Sabi ko babawasan ko yung labas ko pero wala din because online shopping is life. Walang takas!
And I eat. I eat and I eat and I eat. I gained 10lbs already since I had miscarriage nung January. I stopped stepping on the weighing scale a few days back kasi inaaway ko siya.
Wait speaking of miscarriage, I haven’t updated you about the results of the biopsy.
As my OBGyn explained to me, it was an ectopic pregnancy nga. The laman of the swollen Fallopian tube are remnants of the miscarriage. Bale ganito ang nangyari:
January 24 – I had a positive pregnancy test and had vaginal bleeding which on the transV-ultrasound showed a complete abortion.
January 25 to March 15 – I had persistent vaginal bleeding.
March 16 – I sought second opinion and a repeat transV-ultrasound was done which showed a left adnexal mass. It showed na lumobo my left Fallopian tube ko.
March 18 – I went back to the hospital. I underwent emergency exploratory laparotomy, left salpingectomy, evacuation of hemoperitoneum, fulguration of endometriotic implants and biopsy.
Apparently, in January 24, hindi kita na ectopic pregnancy siya kasi hindi pa naman lumalaki yung Fallopian tube. Ang mali ng first OB ko is hindi niya ako pinagHCG test and repeat transV-ultrasound despite bleeding for 7 weeks na. Mataas lang talaga ang tolerance ko sa pain kaya kinaya kaya ko lang.
Good thing, hindi nagrupture yung Fallopian tube ko. Delikado yun. Sa totoo lang, when I went to the hospital in March 18, hindi naman todo sakit as in mamamatay na ako. Kaya pa sana. Natatakot lang ako kasi I knew ang laki na ng Fallopian tube ko kaya I went na to the hospital.
Anyway, when I told one of my mommy friends about what happened ot me, she told me that a similar thing happened to a woman she knows. Kambal daw supposedly. Yung isang fertilized egg nasa uterus then yung isa nasa Fallopian tube. The woman lost both babies. Di kaya ganun nangyari sa akin? May lumabas talaga sa akin na malaking mass nung January and we all thought (including my first OB) na yun na yung baby eh. I was surprised may fertilized egg sa Fallopian tube ko. Ano kako yung lumabas sa akin?
Well, wala din naman mangyayari if I keep thinking of that because I lost both of them. I’m comforted by the thought lang na pwede din pala na kambal yung anak ko.
So that’s it. At least may closure di ba? Definitely, I cannot claim anymore a refund from my health card provider. Everything’s pregnancy related so olats. Goodbye Php 160,000 ++
Back to my kwento naman about staying at home, the longer I stay here, the more I realize na hindi talaga ako born to be a housewife. Either hindi lang ako sanay or I really suck at being productive when I’m home. Wala talaga ako halos na-aaccomplish. Siguro meron akong na-a-accomplish pero sanay ako yung work related accomplishments. Baka ganun.
But you know what? Alvin and I are a lot, lot better nowadays. Wala akong iniisip masyado na work eh. Naka-concentrate lang talaga ako sa kanilang dalawa ni Anika and sa house. When he comes home, I’ll be waiting para sa mga kwento niya. I am more nakikinig and more conversational. Dati kasi, nakikinig naman ako pero yung diwa ko is thinking about the problems in my work and all the other stuff that I need to asikaso. So hindi din 100% attention ang nabibigay ko despite being home. I’m a lot less masungit too. Hindi stressed eh. When he comes home from work na pagod tapos stressed, hindi ko nasasabayan ng pagkasungit. I’m more pleasant talaga. Nahalata ko din that when I’m pleasant and more “present”, Alvin’s more mabait and sweet. Nagulat ako nung isang araw, I love you ng I love you sa akin every time binababa yung phone eh. Kilig na kilig naman ako. Lelz.
And si Anika, natututukan ko. She’s a tweener now and nagkaka-attitude na din. Hindi ko pinalalagpas mga bakla. Meron yang umiirap pagwala sa mood tapos uutusan mo. Naku, hindi ko tinitigilan kaka-dakdak. Masamang ugali yan kako. She’s also showing some signs of self entitlement. Hindi ko din pinapalagpas! Sinisita ko talaga and sinesermonan ko para bumaon sa utak na hindi maganda yung ugali na ganun.
When it comes naman sa gastos, nakikita ko that we were a bit wasteful dati. Ang dami ko pala bumili ng food, fruits, gulay, canned goods, etc na nagkakabulok-bulok or nageexpire lang. Porke kasi I don’t monitor it well at home eh. Bili lang ako ng bili to ensure hindi kami mawawalan ng stock. Baka kasi sobrang busy ko at work, takot ako mawalan ng food sa bahay. Ayaw na ayaw ko isipan ako ni Alvin na nagpapabaya sa mga bagay na ganyan.
Ibang iba, mga mare. Malaki talaga ang difference when you are working full time in the corporate world versus being a homemaker. Ramdam ko yun ngayon. I have confirmed that you can never give your 100% both sa career mo and sa family mo at the same time. However, hindi mo maaalis na there are women out there who are exceptions to this rule. Sila yung tipong kahit hard core career woman kaya magswitch ng housewife mode na parang hindi nagtrabaho for 12 hours straight. Kailangan nila magpaseminar on tips. Magaattend ako diyan.
Definitely our family is our priority but in our daily tasks, we need to accept na magkakamali talaga tayo along the way. But life is all about learnings and being a better version of ourselves. Iniisip ko na lang na siguro kaya nangyari sa akin ito is para I can realize these things. Hindi daw sapat yung 2 weeks lang nung first time ako nastuck sa bahay nung January-February. Dapat mas matagal daw siguro ang tengga sa bahay so I can see the difference. Pinarealize sa akin na I can try to be more pleasant at home despite the stress at work. I shall work on that. Us, working mommas, can definitely work on that.
Good luck sa atin!