Top: UNIQLO; Pants: KOKO AND VAN
I’ve been meaning to write this when I turned 40 last January. One of the benefits of the quarantine to me is that I am able now to catch up with my blogging. Otherwise, baka 50 years old na ako, hindi ko pa na-she-share ito. Lelz.
40 is a milestone age especially for women, I think. It is at this age nakakapagisip isip ang tao ano na siya sa mundong ito. It seems that it was just like yesterday when I had my first crush, first boyfriend, first volleyball medal, first day in High School, first day in College, first job, got engaged, got married, had Anika..
In short, a lot has changed in me in the last 40 years.
I’m not just talking about in the physical sense. Speaking of physical changes, I was walking past a mirror a few days ago and napabalik talaga ako. Who is this old woman standing in front of me?! Exage yung old, I know. Pero there are A LOT of noticeable changes in how I looked like. Yung face ko may wrinkles na nga. Nawawala na yung youthful glow. Kailangan na ng tulong ng Science. My eyesight is getting worse. My metabolism is slowing down. Gone are the days when I can eat 3 cups of rice (with one order of siomai) and not feel the effects of it sa weight ko. And yung mga body pains na wala dati, I can feel them now. May inabot lang ako sa likod ng car from the driver’s seat, nagka-neck sprain na ako. May inabot lang ako sa floor na nahulog na pen, hirap na hirap na ako makabangon. Definitely hindi ko na yata magagawa yung “Bend and Snap” sa Legally Blond.
This is the reason why I feel that the more I need to exercise. I wanna be agile even at 40 or 50 or 60 for that matter. I wanna still be able to play with my grandchildren someday. Kaya yan ng exercise. Willpower ang kailangan ko.
Anyway, like I said, apart from the physical sense, I have changed a lot nga. Here are some of the changes and life lessons I have learned.
1. I have stopped trying to please people. Before I get so affected with what they would think pero now, manigas ka dyan. If you don’t like me, wala akong pakialam. As long as I didn’t do anything wrong and you still don’t like me, ktnxbye.
2. This means I have fewer friends. AND THAT IS PERFECTLY FINE WITH ME. Remember my 40th birthday party? I didn’t want to have an extravagant celebration even though I know it was expected of me. Sarili ko ngang asawa, hindi makapaniwala eh. But that was what I wanted. I wanted to be surrounded with people who I love and who loves me back. I remember when I was younger, I thought the number of your friends determine if you are a good person or not. Kaso along the way I realize that hindi lahat ng friends mo ay friend ka din. I am happy that time was able to make sala who my real friends are.
3. I realized that life certainly goes up and down. Bilog ang mundo. Naranasan ko na ang merong maraming pera. I also experienced having almost close to none. Naranasan ko na din ang tama lang. I know money can change a person. And pagtagtipid ka na, it really humbles you. Pwedeng nasa taas ka ngayon pero dadating ang time na iilalim ka din. Kaya dapat wag magbabago ang ugali mo. Remain kind.
4. I choose experience over fancy things. Some people do not believe me yet on this including my husband. I can’t blame them though because that’s how they perceived me all these years pero ganun talaga eh. Mas matimbang na sa akin yung pinagisipan and pinagplanuhan. A heartfelt love letter trumps an expensive gift from the mall. I prefer traveling or going somewhere to spend time with my loved ones over a new bag. Totoo yan promise. Ang hindi maniwala, panget.
5. Family is more important than fame. I seldom blog nowadays. Alam niyo yan. I rather spend my extra time with Anika because she’s growing up so fast. I want to be a more present wife and mother. Hindi na ako kilala sa blogging world anymore. Wala nang nagpapapicture sa akin sa mall. Keber. I had to choose something to let go kasi hindi ko na kaya pagsabay sabayin equally the family, job, friends, blogging, exercise etc. Am I sad? Yeah, a bit. But someday, walang makakapagsabi that I didn’t choose my family first.
6. Similarly to that, my priorities have changed. I would rather sleep than magpuyat maginom sa labas. I would rather go home kaysa magmall after office.
7. I have found my own style and stuck to it. Gone are the days na habol ako ng habol with what’s uso. Apart from the fact na hindi ko na kayang dalhin ang mga outfits ng mga millenials ngayon, I prefer wearing outfits that are comfortable for me. Quality over quantity na ang peg.
8. I became more praning about the future. I became more praning about my health and everybody else’s. I got insurances. Napapadalas ang check ups ko. I choose to eat healthier food. I have more vitamins and medicines now.
9. Albeit being praning, I feel better about myself a lot more than ever. Yung tipong wala ka nang kailangan i-prove sa ibang tao because I have been there and I have already done that. What I like now is to be able to teach others what I know. What I like now is to be able to help other people grow too.
10. I have realized that we need to do what’s best for our mental health even if that means tatabla ka ng invite ng iba tao sometimes.
11. We need to find our purpose in life otherwise we will be restless. I am happy I have found mine and I have embraced it. I pray that all of you will find yours too (kung hindi niyo pa nahahanap).
12. I have become impatient kasi for me, life is too short. Pakonti ng pakonti ang natitirang years ko sa mundong ito. I always tell Alvin that. If we want to go somewhere and kaya ng budget, go. Wag na magtumpik tumpik pa. I do what I want to do. I eat what I want to eat. I go with people who I like to go with. I do not pretend to like the things I don’t like to do. Wala nang arte arte pa.
13. Lastly, gone are the days na live in the moment ako. Pagnagkaron ng money, shopping. Waldas galore. Since I married, Alvin, I have become more conscious na magtabi ng pera. Be sure you have savings. Unahin ang savings bago ang luho. Do not forget #3. Bilog ang mundo. Umayon lamang ayon sa ating bank account. Do not live beyond your means.
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WHAT I AM LOOKING FORWARD TO THE NEXT YEARS OF MY LIFE:
Having more time to focus on my marriage. For years, umikot ang mundo namin kay Anika. She’s getting older na and one of these days, may sariling gimik na yan. I am looking forward na masolo ko naman ang asawa ko. We can go on date nights more frequently
Traveling more. Either by myself, with Alvin lang, with Alvin and Anika or with anybody.
Finding something where I can invest in and eventually it will be the one to make me money.
Have higher learning. Yeah, still.
Being able to learn how to cook. It’s never too late.
Spending more time with my friends here and abroad.
Madami pa but that’s for another blog post =)