Dress: MIMI DISCOVERIES; Necklace: PIESA PH
Malapit na Christmas, guys. Kaya siguro I’m having anxiety attacks now. Hindi naman sa pagiging the Christmas grinch but I don’t really like Christmas. I get anxieties pero right after Christmas Day, I return to my normal self. Ang weird, ano? I know the reason behind this but that’s for a separate blog post. Madrama masyado. Lelz.
Just like last week, I was just hanging out in our living room tapos biglang parang kumakalabog ang dibdib ko. I checked my heart beat rate and it was 117 beats per minute. 113 bpm when I decided to take a photo of the oxymeter. I wasn’t doing anything ha? Ganun if may anxiety attack. And then may tingling sensation sa finger tips. Nilalamig ako ng sobra. It went away after 2 days. Good thing I know na how to deal with it. I don’t panic anymore when I experience those symptoms. Malaking bagay not panicking kasi nakakadagdag sa anxiety yung panicking.
May kwento pala ako.
Alvin went out with his friends one night. Anika’s been sleeping na in her room so I tucked her in muna. When I tuck her in, I lie down beside her. Ayun nakatulog na din ako. Anika and I slept in her single bed. Anika’s getting bigger so medyo tight na yung space for the both of us. And then in the middle of the night, I sensed that Alvin put the folding bed inside Anika’s room. I fell back to sleep. And then I felt my arm falling out of the bed. Maya maya, without openign my eyes, I can feel a hand putting it back on the bed. Tapos malalaglag na naman yung arm ko. May magsosoli na naman ng hand ko sa bed. Nalaglag ulit. I felt someone holding up my arm sa labas ng bed para hindi malaglag. Tapos parang nangalay yung naghahawak ng arm ko. I felt Alvin get up and move the folding bed he was sleeping on so that it’s right beside Anika’s bed. Dun na niya pinatong yung arm ko. Hindi na nalaglag plus he held my hand na all throughout. Napangiti ako ng slight and then I fell back to sleep na again. You see, ang dami kong hanash that Alvin’s not as sweet as I want him to be with me. Sumasama loob ko diyan kasi he never asks me out on a date. Magpapasama lang ako somewhere, natatamad lagi. I told him that we should put more effort in going out and spending time together. Ayaw na ayaw ko masanay that we don’t do things together. That’s what we “fight” about nowadays. Pero after that night, when all the world was sleeping, I felt that Alvin shows his lambing in other ways lalo na if hindi ako “nakatingin”.