My unica hija turned 11 years old last week. We are done with the infant stage. We are done with the toddler years. We are done with pre-school. We are done with the very important formative years. We are now entering the… *cue in scary background music* — TEENAGE YEARS!
I always tell new mothers to enjoy each moments with their kids. Napakabilis talaga ng panahon.
Looking back at the last 10 years, I am proud to say that nasulit ko si Anika growing up. I do not have any regrets or “sana ganito, sana ganyan” na mga hanash as a mom. Albeit a working, I was able to enjoy Anika while she was growing up. I made time. Though I juggled my career with motherhood, Anika and her needs always came first. It was not easy because instead of resting or opting to have someone else to take care of her, I made sacrifices so that I can always be with her when I’m not at work. If kulang sa time, I make sure I bring her with me. With that, I was able to witness many of her firsts – walking, talking, singing, antics etc. She may have had a yaya growing up pero I can say naging hands on ako sa kanya. When she’s sick, nandun ako. During her school performances, I was there. Sa malls, I preferred not to bring a yaya so ako lahat – change diapers, feeding her, minding her.
I am thankful that even though parang I blinked lang, malaki na siya, ramdam ko na dumaan talaga ang pagkabata niya sa life ko.
A lot has changed now that Anika is a tweener.
MORE INDEPENDENT
She’s more independent now. She’s no longer the clingy baby who cannot even do number 3 without me inside the toilet with her, holding her hand. Actually, I tell her that I miss her even though we’re both in the house lang. She prefers to be in her room kasi more often. Dati I try to convince her to sleep in her own room so that her Tatay and I can have quality time together. Ngayon mga bakla, kami na namimilit na dun siya magsleep in our room!
Also, when she was younger, she would always be in our room, hanging out with us. Lagi yang, “What are you guys doing?” or “Can I join?”. Ngayon, when I enter her room, she’ll be like, “Why are you here, Nanay?”. Ang sagot ko, “Bakit, masama?” or “Bahay ko kasi ito.”. She would just laugh at me and say, “You’re so clingy, Nanay!”.
That’s true. Nababaliktad na ang mundo. Ako na ang clingy as she grows older, hahaha!
TEENAGE ANGST
Meron na din siya mga teenage angst na saltik. There’s eye rolling, dabog and there’s the quiet treatment. I told her hindi pwede yan sa akin. Hindi pwede yang mga napapanood niya sa TV na acting ng mga rude teenagers. Subukan niya lang kako.
Like last night, I was asking her to go with me to the village guard house to get something. Ang daming arte, sabi ko wag na nga. I didn’t mind her when I got back. I felt really bad kasi paghumihingi or nagpapabili ng something, ang galing! Pag ako na yung may favor, ang daming eche-bureche and dahilan. So hindi ko pinansin when I got home. Aba, siya din. She didn’t mind me. Nagkulong sa kwarto when she felt na galit ako. I talked to her about it. Hindi pwede ganun, I told her. Wag na wag niya kami ng Tatay niya isa-silent treatment especially if she knows that she’s the one at fault. I told her to say sorry and give either her Tatay or I a hug.
ANIKA: What if you guys are still mad at me?
ME: Then get out then come back after 10 minutes and do it again. Ulit ulitin mo until okay na ang lahat. Walang parent ang makakatiis sa anak, Anika. But you have to let us feel that you are really sorry. Di ba if I’m wrong, I say sorry to you agad? Ganun ka din dapat.
I told her that she should never disrespect her parents and should be thankful na may magulang siya. Mabuti na yung at this early, nadidisiplina na siya sa ganyan. Kung ano ano kasi ang napapanood sa TV. Malamang ginagaya. Kaloka.
DIFFICULT QUESTIONS
And there are the difficult questions and awkward topics. In her Science class, they were discussing parts of the male and female reproductive systems. I was quizzing her and ako ang naiilang in discussing with her the parts of a penis. She must have felt it because she said, “Are you okay, Nanay? We don’t have to do this if you’re not comfortable. I memorized all the parts na naman eh.”. Hanep. Ako pa talaga ang na-ilang. And there are the questions about boys, how I met her Tatay, what age did her Tatay and I met, were we friends daw ba muna before being boyfriend and girlfriend, what will I do daw if one of my kids is bi-sexual… Mga difficult questions like that.
Hindi lang math and science yung nagiging mahirap, yung questions din nila.
HYGIENE
And there’s the topic of hygiene. She has not gotten her period yet but I have already briefed her on what to expect and what to do. Feeling ko excited siya to get her period kasi feel na feel niya sometimes when her “puson” is hurting. Si Anika excited for her period samantalang si Alvin parang aatakihin sa puso whenever the topic is being brought up. Lol. Anyway, I taught her about the use of deodorants, washing her hair well and taking care of her skin. Speaking of skin, she’s having acne na. We went to Dra. Kaycee Reyes of Luminisce. She’s super duper nice. Walang ka-hangin hangin sa katawan even though she’s famous. She said that it’s acne and gave us medicine for it. Supposedly daw kasi, the acne needs to be extracted pero it will be very traumatic for Anika kaya better medicine na lang. Because of her hormones too, Anika’s having other skin problems also and Dra. Reyes addressed them.
Ang mahal ng mga gamot, grabe. I told Alvin eto na. Umpisa na ng gastos for Anika’s skin. Alvin said walang problema basta dahil sa skin. I’m happy we share the same sentiments. Meron na akong dahilan bakit lagi ako kailangan magpunta sa Luminisce. Hehe.
So there. We are now on the next stage of being parents. It’s scary and the same time exciting. I am just praying that Anika will grow up to be a person with good values. Gusto ko lumaki siyang mabait. Yun lang. Mabait and God-fearing.
Ano tips niyo mothers for me, who now has a tween? I-wewelcome ko lahat yan! Hahaha! TIA!