Happy Easter everyone!

For today, I want to write about positivity. One of my blog readers messaged me last Thursday. She saw me daw in Jollibee near Malate church while doing the Bisita Iglesia. She didn’t say hi in person kasi nahihiya daw siya so she just sent me a message that night. Sabi niya, mukha daw ako walang pinagdadaanan.

First, thank you and yes, I get that a lot.

For me kasi, andun na eh, I’m going through something difficult, why do I have to show it to the whole wide world pa? Ang lakas niya maka-nega. And we all know, we attract what we think. How will I get better if puno ako ng negativity? So I try to be positive all the time which is not easy. Alvin and my closest confidants have seen me at my “worstest” worst. Hindi mo aaklain na ako yun. It’s not always rainbows and butterflies, ika nga nila, when you have this condition. However, whether you have anxiety or none, you will go through experiences na hindi magaganda.

What will you do about it? That is the question.

My advice is try not to be a negative person.

Eto, gawin niyo tong checklist. See if you are a negative fellow. I found this online: 15 Signs of Negative People. I won’t enumerate the list here anymore pero here are some the most common traits I notice with the negative people around me:

1. They worry a lot.
2. They try to tell you what to do.
3. They live in a default position. This means they are in constant look out for fear and danger.
4. They are pessimist.
5. They complain a lot.
6. They become energy vampires. Do know people na if you’re with them parang nade-drain ka? Sila yun.

So are you a negative person? It takes a lot para aminin ito ha? But you need to accept it so you can change yourself. I realized that dati I was a negative person pala. Though, I encourage positivity and I make people laugh, there is a side of me na nega. Gusto kong alisin yun. Life is too short to be negative. You don’t know until when ka lang mabubuhay. Yes I understand may pinagdadaanan ka but,

a.) I am sure there is always somebody else out there who are in worse situations.
b.) I am sure things will get better someday. You just have to ride it out.
c.) God is there. You just have to trust him.

I am sure Pineda will not mind so I will make her as an example. Pineda told me dati that she was a negative person. Puno siya ng worry sa katawan. JR, her husband, was her opposite. Itong si JR naman is napaka-positive. There was a time Pineda was so down because of her problems. Naiinis na sa kanya si JR kasi wala daw magagawa yung pagka-negative niya sa mga problems niya. Over time, with the help of JR’s nagging and yung mga talks dun sa Victory fellowship that they attended, she was able to change her attitude. Because of that and because of her trust in God, Pineda now is thriving. She was able to find ways how to solve her problem. Instead of dwelling in them, she is now in the middle of doing something she likes and the same time, nakakatulong masolve yung problema niya.

See what positivity can do? =) Kaya feed your positivity. I do this by praying, reading the bible verses Lolo Papa gave me and doing the things I am grateful for list.

May money problems ka? Isipin mo yan ang pinaka-madaling problema sa lahat. I heard that from Vivian in 2015 nung down na down kami ni Alvin dahil dun sa halos makukulong na siya dahil sa pera na hindi naman niya kasalanan. Vivian said, be thankful walang may sakit sa amin na malubha. That is a bigger problem.

Feeling mo mataba ka? You worry about your weight? Nalalakihan ka sa thighs mo? Think about all those people in the hospital now. Don’t you feel lucky na at least ikaw, mataba ka nga, pero wala ka naman sakit? You go through life living without pain.

Help other people. Ang sarap ng feeling. It can add to your positivity. Hindi mo kailangan gumawa ng outreach program mala-Angel Locsin to help. Even with just listening to a friend na may problem and helping her solve it, okay na yun. Or donate stuff to the Marawi victims.

Lessen the stress in your life. I realized that recently lang, thanks to my anxiety condition. Piliin mo lang yung ikaka-stress mo sa buhay. Yung magulong bahay, hayaan mo na yun. Nakaka-inis yung katulong niyo? Either accept mo na lang siya or lay her off. Do not do a lot of things at the same time. I stopped doing that. Nobody is expecting me to be like that. It was something I imposed myself and para lang akong loka-loka.

Madami pa diyang steps how to be positive. Ito basahin niyo din tong article na ito I found online: How To Stay Positive.

Lastly, always think about what you are grateful for.

When I do that, Alvin and Anika are always in my top list. God, I am really grateful for these two. They love me and they said hindi daw nila ako iiwan.

I am grateful Alvin was able to be more open about anxiety depression. Hindi yan naniniwala dati sa sakit ko. Hindi ko naman din sure if he believes na fully now because he said dati he will never have this kasi happy person siya. He looks for things to do para mawala anxiety niya. Well, if an anxiety disorder attacks you, no matter how happy and strong you are, wala ka. Magkakaron ka nito. Parang trangkaso nga. Walang pinipili. Nevertheless, I am grateful for Alvin kasi whether he believes in this or not, naka-support siya. Hinabaan pa niya pasensya na and he let me do things I like while covering for me sa house. He made me feel that he is a permanent fixture in my life who I can depend on and that makes me feel a lot, lot less anxious about things.

I am grateful for my family. My dad, like how he was in 2004 when I had anxiety depression, is in full support pa din despite being thousands of miles away. He prays for me all the time. He has a gift of healing and I can feel it all the way here. Wowa, LT, Toots, Faye with their significant others are there when I ask them. Hindi sila yung mga nagyayaya lumabas or get together (that is my role dito sa family ko na ito) pero when I ask for them, they go.

I am extremely grateful for my in-laws. I am one of the few na swerte sa mga biyenan, bayaw and bilas. I know madami sa inyo gusto akong sabunutan sa inggit, pero yes, swerte talaga ako sa kanila. They are mababait to me and my family.

I am also grateful for my friends. Feel ko kasi na nandiyan talaga sila despite us not seeing each other often.

Well, except for Janis and Alfred na halos araw araw talaga nasa bahay nung kasagsagan ng ganito ko, I message and viber a lot with them kahit na hindi kami masyadong nagkikita kita. Peachy even gave me that Mary Undoer of Knots statue so I can pray for her. Vivian shared the novena to the Sacred Heart with I prayed twice a day dati.

I also have friends and confidants who are faceless. Hindi sila nakikita dito sa blog ko pero they are also my source of positivity. Pwede kong sabihin na hindi ko siguro kinaya if wala din sila.

And of course, diyosme naluluha na ako, I am forever grateful for my blog readers. Grabe ang support niyo guys. Yan ang difference ng 2004 disorder ko compared sa ngayon. Mas madali magcope ngayon dahil feel na feel ko ang support and pag-alala niyo. Para kayong mga cheerleaders ng buhay ko and with that, I am forever grateful talaga. Swerte ako sa inyo.

Alam niyo ba minsan napapa-isip ako. Sabi ko parang naiinggit ako dun sa ibang bloggers na libo libo talaga ang followers sa Instagram and Facebook. Naiinggit ako kasi may mga awards sila. Sabi ko kako, bakit ako wala na compared during the first five years of my blogging career. Well, apart from the fact na hindi ko naman kasi talaga kinakareer na ang pagba-blog ngayon like they do, wapakels ako kasi I know hindi man tens of thousands ang nagfa-follow sa akin, sure ako na halos kumare ko na kayong lahat. I mean, hindi ko lang kayo blog readers only, friendships na tayo.

I can feel your empathy sa akin and sa family ko. Literally bumuhos talaga ang messages and get well soon for me nung nagkasakit ako ng ganito. And I will never want to exchange you guys sa tens or hundreds of thousands of followers na nanonood lang and wapakels naman sa finafollow nila. Okay, naiiyak na talaga ako. Maraming salamat, mga bakla. Hindi niyo lang alam talaga how grateful I am for each one of you.

Ayown. Whew. Thank you.

For this Easter, let’s start being grateful guys. Be grateful over the smallest things. Lumabas ka and breathe the fresh morning air. Be thankful buhay ka. Be thankful kumpleto ang body parts mo. Be thankful may work ka kahit halos isumpa mo na mga workmates mo. Be thankful you have the ability to be able to inspire and help others.

I leave you with this quote I got from Wordables in Instagram. Mother of all quotes for today.

“At the end of life, what really matters is not what we bought but what we built, not what we got but what we shared, not our competence but our character, and not our success but our significance. Live a life that matters. Live a life of love.”

Happy Easter everyone!

Inner top: FOREVER 21; Checkered polo: MANGO; Shorts: LEVI’S; Cap: FOREVER 21; Sunglasses: RAY BAN; Sandals: BIRKENSTOCK

Lolo Papa messaged me the other day. He was asking if I can go to Amsterdam this June because my female cousin from the States will be passing by Amsterdam on her way back home from Italy. Papa was asking if I can go and help him take my cousin around Holland and the same time it will be a good opportunity for me to have a short vacation. 10 days lang, okay na. Actually before this, nung kasagsagan ng condition ko, Papa told me to come to Amsterdam so I can recuperate. I had second thoughts kasi I felt that I can’t travel without Alvin and Anika.

I am having second thoughts pa din naman for June. I’m scared to travel alone. Baka magka-anxiety attack ako sa plane or when I’m in Amsterdam. If I were to go, I want at least man lang Alvin to go with me. However, hindi keri ng current budget kaming tatlo. Not sa airfare lang but also the pocket money. Ayokong magtravel with Anika na tipid. Siyempre when we’re there, mag Paris Disneyland na yan tska may Warner Brothers Studio sa Germany. Sayang the trip kasi if we all go there tapos we just stay in Amsterdam. Hindi sulit. Malaki laki ding budget ang kailangan if kaming tatlo ang lalarga. Whereas if si Alvin lang kasama ko, pwede kami chill lang in Amsterdam for 10 days. Kaso as if naman magpapaiwan yan si Anika dito sa Manila. Besides, nakaka-guilty for Alvin and I to both go without her.

Bakit kako tight ang budget ngayon? The additional money we shelled out for the renovation of our current house is medyo malaki. Simple lang naman talaga dapat kasi yung renovations, eh di ba nga sa ka-artehan ko, nagover kami sa budget. Hindi naman ako nagsisisi. Titigan ko lang yung bookshelves ko, nawawala ang panghihinayang sa gastos. Lelz. Also, we are having our old house renovated too kasi we are planning to sell it. Hindi naman kami zero pero alam niyo naman ang pagka-sigurista nitong ni Sombrero. Hindi yan nagbabakasyon ng marangya not unless super extra talaga ang gagamiting moolah for the trip expenses. Kailangan laging may naka-tabi lalo na bayaran na naman ng tuition, you guyssss! Wooohooo! Hahahaha!

Anyway, swerte din ako ganyan magisip asawa ko. Financially advantageous sa amin ang opposites attract. Kung ako lang kasi basta may pera, go! Life is too short not to be enjoyed. Kaso ma-la-life is too short naman daw si Alvin sa stress if gastos lang ng gastos without ipon.

May point.

When I told Alvin about Papa’s message, he encouraged me to go. Walang problema if ako lang daw muna ang pumunta kay Papa. I expressed my hesitations and fear. Natahimik lolo niyo. He’s seen me during the attacks. He told me to talk to my therapist about this trip. I didn’t tell Alvin but my therapist was actually telling me to have a vacation outside the country ng matagal. He told me this dati pa. Sinabi ko lang noon that I can’t take a leave off work ng months. So malamang, the therapist will tell me to go. Alvin’s still convincing me now. Sabi ko lang malay namin, mabenta yung bahay this month. If that happens, automatic kasama na sila ni Anika. But that is suntok pa sa buwan because hindi pa tapos yung improvements na ginagawa and gagawin pa dun sa lumang house. 90% chance na ako lang ang pupunta sa June and hindi kasama yung mag-ama ko. I’m scared of that thought because ang clingy ko sa kanila nowadays. Hindi ako sure if I want to go.

Hindi ako sure pero I googled na the weather in the dates that I’ll be in Amsterdam. Pa-summer na yun eh! Hindi ako sure na gusto ko umalis pero last night, I was scanning my closet already for the clothes that I will bring. May apprehensions ako with traveling alone pero I messaged na my amigas in Amsterdam na abangan na ako there! I told Papa hindi ko pa alam pero I messaged him if magpa-Paris ba kami. He replied with yes, we can go to Paris or Madrid or Rome or London. Emergerd. Nagpapalpitate na ako ngayon. I don’t know if dahil sa takot magtravel or dahil sobra akong excited!

Ang loka loka ko grabe.

Anyway, there’s the application of visa pa. There’s still a chance the embassy will not approve so I won’t get my hopes up masyado. Mahirap na madisappoint.

I need to push na talaga selling my preloved clothes. Gagamitin ko ang proceeds for my Amsterdam trip pocket money. Kasasabi lang na wag muna magexpect eh! Grrrrrr! Hahahaha! Di bale, at least pagnagbenta na ako, push or not ang Amsterdam, at least may extra money. I wasn’t able to take photos and post the clothes online kasi Anika got sick nung bakasyon.

So there. Yan ang chika for the day. I will be applying for a Shengen visa after this week. I’m currently cramming for Anika’s small birthday party. Wala pa siyang Jojo Siwa na damit! Anyway after her birthday, gorabelles na ako sa visa application. Albeit positive thinking tayo forever, I should practice the no expectations part. Iba din kasi ako pagnag-expect eh so relax relax lang.

Osha, my classes are going to start na in a while. Stay tuned!

Good morning everyone!

Top: MYKA LIMCHOC; Pants: UNIQLO; Shoes: TORY BURCH

Alvin has this Youtube channel where he uploads their “gigs”. Itong mga “gigs” na ito are his and our friends’ acoustic sessions at home. Magaling kasi si Alvin mag-gitara so our other friends volunteer to be the singers. When they come over and have those sessions, they record it and post them online. Alvin collected them kaya siya gumawa ng Youtube channel. Saka ko na ipagkakalat yung Youtube channel niya pagnag-upload na siya ng video naming dalawa dun hahaha!

Anyway, last Sunday morning we were bored at home. Anika wasn’t feeling well so hindi pa kami nagsimba ng umaga. We were waiting for lunch time so we can go to Alvin’s house for their family’s Easter get-together. At dahil bored kami, we decided to do an acoustic version of Linger with Alvin in the guitars and me on the microphone. We video’ed ourselves and I posted it in the Mommy Fleur FB page.

Kapal nga ng fez ko kasi walang practice practice yun eh! Hahahaha!

At first kasi, Alvin was just playing his guitar and I was just singing along. Tapos nilabas na ni Alvin yung amplifier niya and the microphone. I pulled our bar stools dun sa living room namin so we can sit on it.

ALVIN: I-vivideo na ba?

ME: Hindi ha! Ngayon lang natin to gagawin. Wala tayong practice.

So I sang ng mga two rounds.

ME: Abby, paki video nga kami.

ALVIN: Akala ko ba hindi ivivideo?

ME: Video lang. Hindi ko iuupload. Gusto ko makita and marinig how we sing. Teka magba-bra lang ako.

Naka-pangtulog pa talaga kasi ako eh. I changed also my shorts. I passed by the mirror, ang pangit ko. Bagong gising. I put on kilay and konting lipstick. Para maganda naman sa video di ba?

Paglabas ko ng kwarto, aba, naka-pants na si Alvin! Naka-cap pa. And naka-shades pa!

Upon seeing me,

ALVIN: Hindi pala ipopost ha? Bakit ka naka-make up?!

ME: Ikaw nga naka-pantalon pa eh. Bakit ka naka-shades sa loob ng bahay?!

ALVIN: Gusto ko, bakit ba.

Hindi pala iuupload pero naka-kilay ako tapos naka-porma ang Alvin. Hahahahaha!

Wala. Dahil low EQ ako, I posted the video we recorded on our third try.

Here it is!

Medyo nagsisisi ako now I posted that. Hahahaha! Kelan nga ba naging nasa una ang pagsisisi di ba? My voice was flat. Boses lata nga daw eh. Sabi ko, ikabit niyo kasi sa magandang speaker yung phone niyo para maganda tunog ng boses ko! Hindi pa din daw. Bwiset! Hahahaha! I was nervous while singing noh. Nakaka-conscious pala.

Alvin and I were laughing about it because three times sumuka si Anika while I was singing. I told her, “Grabe anak, ganyan ba ka-lala yung boses ko? Nasuka ka!”. Yeah, she threw up kasi madami siyang phlegm =( At least nalalabas niya.

Anyway, an hour after I posted the video,

ALVIN: O, may nagcomment na ba sa video mo?

ME: Meron.

ALVIN: Anong sabi?

ME: Ang payat ko daw.

Tawa ng tawa ang Alvin, leche na yan.

After four hours…

ALVIN: O, may nagcomment na ba ulit?

ME: Meron.

ALVIN: Anong sabi?

ME: Happy Easter daw.

Grabe. Hagalpak sa tawa si Alvin!

Bahala kayo. I shall practice a lot. Magkakaron ako ng comeback video! Abangan niyo yan!

Or not.

Hahahahaha!

Have a great day!

Top: KAMISETA; Pants: UNIQLO; Shoes: KEDS

When we were having dinner yesterday (we eat with our kasambahays),

ALVIN (referring to our kasambahays): Aalis na yan.

I panicked. Akala ko yung all around namin yung aalis. I will die if she leaves. She’s the most efficient person in the house and I have trained her well. Buti na lang, yung “yaya” ni Anika daw yung aalis again. Yeah. She left na last year but went back kasi she got bored in the province. Ngayon, aalis na naman daw. Secretly, I am wishing that if she’ll leave, for good na. We actually only maintain her para lang may kalaro si Anika. Mabait sana kaso patola din kay Anika eh. They fight all the time. Also, hindi siya masyado nasusulit sa house because our all around is the one who does almost all of the house work. We can make do without the “yaya”. Anika definitely doesn’t need a yaya anymore. Para din matuto si Anika to look after and fix her things. Ang donya ng batang yan eh. Hindi marunong magpack and mag-attend to her stuff.

Anyway, after Alvin and Anika left the table, nagkwentuhan kaming 3. Lyn, our all around wonder woman, made kwento.

LYN: Ate, si Anika may Oppa na.

ME: Anong Oppa?!

LYN: Narinig ko nagkukwentuhan sila ni ____ (name of her girl playmate). Sabi ni girl, crush daw si Anika nung batang lalaki sa tapat ng bahay.

ME: Anong sabi ni Anika?

LYN: Hindi ko lang narinig. Pinaguusapan din nila yung isang bata dun sa kabilang bahay. Crush din daw si Anika.

ME: As in sila lang naguusap?

LYN: Oo Ate. Sinita ko nga eh. Sabi ko hoy anong crush crush yan? Sabi ni Anika, gumawa ng imaginary line sa gitna namin. Hanggang dun lang daw yung usapan sa kanila. Hindi daw ako kasali.

ME: Ano sabi mo?

LYN: Sabi ko ganun ba? Eh di gumawa din ako ng imaginary line sa pagitan namin dalawa. Sabi ko yun lang ang kasali sa usapan mamya sa kainan pagkasama na Tatay niya.

ME: Ano sabi ni Anika?

LYN: Wala po. Lumapit sa akin tapos niyakap ako. Wag daw.

Emergerd. It’s too early for this!

That night, while Anika and I were watching TV, I saw it as an opportunity to open this up with her. I started with asking how was her day. Tapos hindi ko na matiis.

ME: Anika, may Oppa ka na daw?

ANIKA: No.

ME: Do you have anything to make kwento to me about it.

ANIKA: NO!!!

ME: Ate Lyn said something about that boy from the house in front of us.

ANIKA: It’s nothing.

ME: We promised that we will not have secrets from each other di ba?

Anika started crying.

ME: O, bakit ka umiiyak?

ANIKA: I don’t want to talk about it.

ME: Why don’t you want to talk about it with me pero you talk about it with your girl friends?

ANIKA: You will get mad.

ME: No, I won’t get mad. I will get more mad if I hear it from somebody else.

Emergerd. I sounded like Wowa.

ANIKA: They said that that boy has a crush on me. But I don’t even like him.

ME: That’s okay Anika. You can tell me things like that. I will not get mad. Are you doing something wrong?

ANIKA: No.

ME: See? Why should I get mad? And di ba I told you we can talk about everything?

ANIKA: Yes.

Tapos ayun na nagkwento na siya. Nakinig ako. Nakitawa ako.

ME: O see? Masaya if we can talk about it di ba? Don’t keep things from me just because you will think I will get mad ha? Wag ganun. Maganda if we can talk about anything. I’m also your friend, right?

Nag-yes naman siya.

I know umpisa pa lang ito. Dugay pa, as they say in Bicol. Maaga pa. But I really, really want Anika to feel that she can tell me about these things. Lalo na about boys.

Eto na. Naguumpisa na tayo. Napapa-aga yata.

It’s 10pm and I’m munching on Doritos while eating a tiny slice of the Salted Caramel cheesecake.

I’m supposed to be starting my first day of intermittent fasting tonight. However, it’s a night in the middle of a long weekend and I’m alone. Nakakasad. I don’t want to be sad (and I want to forget about my low EQ regarding the fasting) so let’s make kwentuhan na lang.

Today was a busy day. Here’s what I wore:

Top and Pants: UNIQLO; Sunglasses: FROM JAPAN

We bought prizes for Anika’s birthday party tomorrow at Market! Market!. I wanted to go to Divisoria pero nalalayuan si Alvin. After all the gastos for her birthday last year, small time lang the party tomorrow so everything is last minute. Thank God for Bing, may magba-balloon decor yung Shakey’s restaurant bukas. Kanina ko lang siya inask and I am so happy she found a balloon decorator to do it the last minute.

Anika doesn’t have anything to wear yet so we went to three malls to look for her birthday outfit. It wasn’t easy.

Later in the afternoon, we met up with my family to celebrate Russ’s birthday.

I remembered I haven’t bought Wowa her birthday gift so I got her a pair of cute sandals from Melissa.

Wowa got naman Anika a pair of super duper adorable Melissa shoes too! Ang ganda talaga nung shoes ni Anika. If they had it lang in adult size, I’d get myself one too!

Yeah, those are Anika’s legs and feet. Ang dalaga na tingnan di ba? Huhuhuhu! Ang kunswelo ko na lang from all these fast forwarding time is that Anika’s growing up to be a beautiful, kind and smart girl. I am praying really hard lumaking mabait na bata si Anika. Healthy, happy and mabait. Yun lang.

Like I said earlier, we had dinner at Manam to celebrate Russ’s birthday.

Isabel’s soooooooo cute talaga!

Anyway, I was supposed to look for something to wear for tomorrow’s party kaso I couldn’t concentrate on shopping because Alvin and Anika were waiting for me. Ayoko nagshashop ng may nagbabantay.  Bahala na bukas.

I also ran out of my meds and they were out of stock everywhere!!! Imagine Mercury Drug telling me that all Mercury Drugstores in Makati, wala din daw stock. Alvin and I spent about 20 minutes calling different Mercury Drugstore branches to ask if may stock sila ng meds ko. Kahit hanggang Eastwood, wala. We found a small Mercury Drugstore in Baclaran. Meron daw sila. Dinayo namin. I cannot believe super out of stock ang meds ko. Ganun ka dami ang merong anxiety sa Metro Manila? Kaloka. At least we found a branch that has stock. I can hear Janis’s voice, “Dapat hindi mo inaantay maubos ang gamot mo saka ka bibili! Anong klaseng manager ka if hindi mo mamanage ang stock ng gamot mo.”. Yes. May point. Bwahahahaha! I told you we need friends like Janis.

It was a pretty good day albeit finding myself alone now. Anika’s asleep and Alvin’s out. Buti na lang may Netflix.

Let’s talk about our favorite Netflix shows next time ha? I’ll share mine soon!

Osha, I’m excited for Anika’s birthday tomorrow. For sure 4am pa lang, gising na siguro yun. Lelz.

Enjoy the rest of the long weekend, guys!

Top: WOWA’S SECRET STORE (Php 150 only); Pants: LEVI’S; Shoes: ALDO

Hellooooo girls!

Pasensya na ngayon lang ako nagparamdam. Gosh, I don’t know how to begin to describe ang pagka-busy ko this week. I have to let it out so bear with me, ha?

Anika’s birthday was last Monday. I will blog about that. I crammed preparing for it because well, sabi nila wag daw magstress sa mga bagay bagay so I took it to a whole new level. Nagrelax ako until the last minute. Hahaha! Mukha naman okay kinalabas. Na-iraos ng matiwasay.

And then, we are almost done with the mini MBA that I am taking c/o our company. At dahil diyan, we are required to pass one 6-page case study (done ko na), four 2-page module analysis, one 600-word reflection paper and one individual business case analysis. All are due next Monday. My nose is bleeding from all the English terms that I need to use. How I wish I can write all those papers and reports in my usual bakla way. Chicken sana.

And then there’s the visa requirements that I need to complete and pass by next week. I am smacking my head now why my passport is still in my maiden name. Ang daming extra steps and extra analysis tuloy.

And because when it rains, it storms like signal number three, walastik ang dami ng ginagawa at work. I know I can delegate some of them to my staff, I already did. Pero marami pa din ang natitirang task na ako ang kailangang gumawa. Sabay sabay talaga.

Hindi ako masyadong busy ano? Tragis yan. Nakakataranta.

There is a to-do list inside my to-do list!

And of all days, ngayon ako tinamaan ng pagka-lethargic. Instead of doing everything, nandun ako sa couch, watching movies after movies after movies in Netflix. I’m supposed to be concentrating na pero there are four Amazon windows open in my laptop now. I’m shopping for Jojo Siwa stuff for Anika while Pineda is in the States. Para kako madala niya pauwi. It doesn’t help that it’s sooooo hot! Summer has definitely arrived!

Ang dami kong utang na kwento. I shall do that soon. Oh by the way, did I mention I’m going to Baguio next week to check one of our projects there? #PaanoNaLahatNgGagawinKo

I need a miracle.

Let’s do this! Kaya ko ito! I just wish maraming calories ang nabuburn ng pagiisip. Sexy na sexy na ako niyan talaga for summer.

Gotta go mga baks. I’ll see you back here in a bit, okies? Have a nice weekend.

Tara, I’ll blog about our recent glamping trip before summer ends.

Lol.

My brother-in-law, Paul and his wife, Tin treated us to an overnight glamping to celebrate Gabo’s 8th birthday.

When I first heard of it, okay naman ako. We already went glamping at Nurture Spa Wellness Village last 2015. Alam naman nating lahat na, though girl scout ako from Grade 1 to 4th Year High School, isa akong maarteng nilalang. Ang selan ko sa banyo and mareklamo ako. However, in fairness to me, when the going gets tough, kaya kong sumabay. That’s why I don’t know why Alvin wouldn’t believe me when I tell him I can survive a hard core camping trip in the mountains. Wala daw portalet dun. Eh ano. I can do it naman, wala lang gustong maniwala. Never mind that I feel like peeing every 10 minutes. Keri ko ang pagakyat sa bundok and camping.

Alvin and Anika were so excited for the trip. Nahawa ako. They bought camping stuff. They made checklists after checklists of the things that they needed to bring. The night before we left, akala mo may zombie apocalypse sa dami ng gamit na dadalhin ng mag-ama ko. Hardcore mountain climber ang Alvin before, if you remember. So siya si Scout Master namin and Anika followed him like a super dedicated cub scout. Meanwhile, I was packing all the outfits that I can wear for the OOTD photos. Di baleng walang snacks, basta maganda ang damit sa camping.

A few days before our glamping trip, Paul briefed us where we were going. The name of the glamping site is BLOC CAMP SITE.

I checked out the place. It was so pretty. The campsite was beside a lake. So cool.

And so we went.

I was so amazed when we arrived. The place was indeed beautiful. For our group, they set up 3 tents near the lake. For me, yung pwesto namin yung pinaka-maganda. It had privacy and parang we had all the space all to ourselves.

There was  a tent for honeymooners. The tent was a lot bigger that the ones they gave us. Pwede ka magtumbling sa loob. They had their own porch with hammock and griller.

Our tents had two double airbeds. Four people can sleep in a tent.

Before we were allowed to go to our tents, we were briefed about the house rules of the campsite. Briefing talaga. You are required to sit there and listen. Tama nga naman because of safety. They told us what we can and we cannot do. They asked us if we had questions. When everything was clear na, they helped us bring our things to the tent.

It was very relaxing there. As in chill in the highest level.

So chill both literally and figuratively. Ang lamig!

Pero tiis ganda para lang maganda ang OOTD there.

Mangatog-ngatog ako sa lamig

I’m not kidding guys. It was so cold there! We weren’t expecting it. I wasn’t expecting it. Kita niyo nga pekpek shorts ang suot ko.  I thought it would be super hot so I brought all short shorts with me. Good thing Alvin always nags us to bring jackets wherever we go so kaming 3, we had jackets. The rest of us, waley. Puros summer attire!

Fail ang aking OOTD attempts sana. I thought it would be as hot as it was in a beach. Hindi. I felt we were in Canada in Autumn.

I think it was cold because of the Caliraya Lake. The BLOC Camp Site is located in Cavinti, Laguna. Medyo malayo and mukhang mataas yung place. Man-made lang ang lake.

Alvin and Anika immediately prepared their fishing gadgets.

They weren’t able to catch any fish though. Malamang nilamig din ang mga isda kaya nagsi-alisan.

She dips her legs AFTER I tell her that the water is too cold.

Ellie wanted to have fun too!

When you go glamping at BLOC Camp Site, you can order food from them.

Or you can prepare and cook your own food. Clean as you go nga lang kasi nakakahiya naman magkalat ka there. So be sure to bring garbage bags. They have naman concrete sinks by the toilets where you can wash your pots and pans. Pero wag ka na magluto ng dinuguan dun. Simple campsite food lang, keribelles.

There was a lot of space where the kids can run around. It was a great opportunity for them to put down their iPads and gadgets and just be like, normal kids.

Gabo’s cake is from Cake Lane.

So nice, huh? It’s not expensive ha? That’s the reason why I got them to make Anika’s birthday cake too. Galing.

If it was cold in the afternoon, imagine how cold it was at night. Good thing there was a bonfire. God, we loved the bonfire! Ang sarap yung super lamig na lamig ka then tatambay ka in front of the fire. It was soooo relaxing. We also roasted marshmallows and made smores. Smores are so addicting! Ang sakit lang sa lalamunan ‘coz super tamis, but I love it!

The BLOC Camp Site staff were very helpful. They helped us with all our stuff, bringing them all to our campsite. They also were the ones who made the bonfire. May fee nga lang for additional wood. Naka-2 times replenish siguro kami.

Here’s what the tent looks like inside.

 It was comfortable inside the tent. It wasn’t that cold inside so we slept comfortably.

The next day, we chilled some more. There was really nothing else to do kasi the water was too cold to go swimming. The kids just kept running and running around.

After breakfast, we had our morning nap and then we left na for Manila, recharged.

Overall, the experience was great. It was a different vacation and we all had fun. Magbobonding talaga kayo dun. No TV. May phone signal naman. You will really feel one with nature.

The only thing that I didn’t like was the toilets. Mukha talaga siyang public toilets. Tipong yung inidoro na walang water tank? Ganun. The toilet was like a 1m by 2m space na nandun na yung toilet seat and when you look up, nandun na yung rainshower. No hot water.

Ang hirap for me.

I had to wake up Alvin at around 2am so that he can go with me pee. Malayo din kasi ang lalakarin to the toilets from our tent.

Alvin said I really cannot go with him mamundok. Sa bundok daw, sa hukay ka lang jejebs. Emergerd. What if something bites your pwet while doing it? Mukha nga I will not survive sa hard core camping.

For lunch we went to Aling Taleng’s Halo Halo (since 1933). Food was good and we were able to buy a lot of pasalubongs including kesong puti.

Their halo-halo is masarap nga. There’s something there that I cannot place that makes it different from the halo halo of Chowking and Razon’s. If you happen to pass by Pagsanjan and eat there, let me know ano difference ha? Hindi ako mapakali lelz. Over-all, the restaurant is worth visiting when you’re there. Food’s good =)

That’s it! Please inquire na lang at BLOC Campsite for their rates. I don’t know how much because it was a treat from Paul and Tin =)

Have a lovely summer, beautiful people!

The Sombrero Sitcom installment is literally an installment talaga eh, no? Ang tagal ng pagitan =) Hihi.

Anyway, today, I will show you what we did with our bathrooms.

This is the common toilet and bath.

Kita niyo naman the floor tiles, jurassic na talaga sa luma the design. Those were the uso tiles back in the early 80s because we never changed them. Sorry for the clothes included in the photo. Sa mga workers yan, tinambak nila there.

Anyway, that bathroom is really small. When I checked the As Built plans, the size is 2.8 meters by 1 meter. So I computed the number of tiles that we needed. We bought the water closet (inidoro). When they installed it, bwiset, 0.8 meters lang pala yung width ng bathroom in actual! The original floor tile design that I wanted was 2-40x40cm tiles with design beside each other and then bordered by white tiles sa buong perimeter ng banyo.

Waley. Olats. Hindi pwede. We had to alter the design of the floor. Ang corny. Madaming nasayang na tiles with design.

Also the water closet that we bought was too big. As in when you try to sit on it to make poopoo, nakadikit na yung fez mo dun sa wall in front of you. Alvin demonstrated it and he looked so funny. Kung hindi lang talaga nakakatawa, maiinis ako ng sobra. Kaso nandyan na yan. I had to look for a really small water closet. I couldn’t find any in the big stores because hindi siya standard size. We needed the Royal Flush toilet bowl na maliit. Alam niyo yun? Yung dating design pa. Buti na lang, I saw a small one in a construction supply store on my way to the office. Binili ko na agad agad.

This is how it looks like na.

The master’s bedroom toilet and bath naman is small too but more on squarish yung area niya.

Alvin and I were surprised to see that you can buy pala a less than Php 5,000 bathtub! Inavail na namin agad agad mga besh para feeling soshal.

And if ever you happen to pass by one of the Wilcon stores in Makati, you will find out where I copied our bathroom accent wall.

I thought before that when we finally have a bathtub, magaagawan kaming tatlo diyan using it. As of press time (3 months after we have moved in), Anika has used it three times pa lang. I’ve used it twice while Alvin has used it once. Hahahahaha! Hindi din pala cool magbathtub often! Ang gastos sa tubig! Lelz.

So there you go. I like how our bathrooms turned out. Gusto ko yung minimalist and neat siya tingnan.

Osha mga muthers, standby for the other spaces ha? Patience is a virtue! Happy midweek!

Top: BOUGHT IN JAPAN; Pants: AMERICAN EAGLE OUTFITTERS; Sneakers: CONVERSE; Cap: FOREVER 21; Sunglasses: RAYBAN

Nagtatampo ako kay Alvin today.

He just came home from a biglaang 4 days and 3 nights business trip yesterday. Olats nga because I’m fertile the whole week this week. We even had this conversation last Sunday night.

ME: Babe, may hihingin sana akong favor.

ALVIN: Ano yun?

ME: Fertile kasi ako the whole week starting Monday to Thursday. Pwede ba araw arawin natin nitong linggo baka sakaling mabuntis ako?

ALVIN: Osige. Isang libo.

I swatted him. Leche.

ALVIN: Umaasa ka pa din ba?

ME: Oo naman. I decided that this is the last year na gusto ko magtry ng baby. After this year, ayoko na talaga.

ALVIN: Hindi pwede yun.

I dunno with my husband. Balak niya ata akong ilaban sa oldest woman to give birth sa Guinness Book of Records.

Anyway, so he went home na nga yesterday afternoon. We spent the evening watching two movies on Netflix and then nagyaya na si Anika matulog.

ANIKA: Nanay, I will sleep in my room tonight.

Yeah baby!

I went with her to her room to tuck her to bed. I stayed for a bit until makatulog siya kasi we have our kwentuhan time pa before sleeping. Eh naka-idlip ako. I woke up around 1130 pm. I got up and went to the living room. Wala ang Alvin. I went to our room and lo and behold, tulog na tulog na lolo niyo. Okay sana if yung naka-pwesto siya like yung sa sobrang pagod, nakatulog lang. Alam niyo yun? Hindi eh. Ang sarap ng pwesto niya. Para talagang pinagisipang matulog and nagpa-comfortable pa bago matulog.

Nainis nga ako. I slept in Anika’s room. However, I couldn’t sleep because it was like I did a power nap. Nakatulog na kasi ako ng mga 30 minutes while I was waiting for Anika to sleep. So I was up all night listening sa mga tilaok ng manok. Lekat na mga manok talaga yan. Hating gabi na, tumitilaok pa!

This morning, he woke up while I was getting ready for work. He asked why I didn’t sleep beside him. Sabi ko nagtatampo ako because he didn’t wake me up to transfer to our room to sleep beside him. Sinuyo naman ako kaso yung suyo na hindi naman tumatayo sa kama. Hindi ko nga pansinin.

Actually, it’s not naman about making the baby. Yung feeling ba na ang tagal niyang nawala tapos gusto ko naman to sleep together in our room. Wife echos lang siguro itey and it will pass. For the meantime, bahala siya sa buhay niya. Nagtatampo talaga ako.

Why are husbands so dense, ano?

Like all the past birthdays, Anika’s birthday started with her blowing a cake with just the three of us during breakfast. Naging tradition na namin ito.

If it were up to me, I didn’t want to have a birthday party anymore for Anika. Matanda na siya eh. She turned 8 years old last April 9. Plus the fact I was super tamad to plan. I wanted an out of town vacation na lang sana. But it wasn’t I who was having a birthday so we asked Anika to choose.

Party ba or vacation trip?

Matagal. Anika took time to think about it. It was nice because I saw and heard her weighing the pros and cons. Galing.

In the end, she chose to have a party. It’s summer naman daw anyway and we can go to the beach anytime. Eh yung party daw, once a year lang.

Wais. Very good.

I didn’t have anything new to wear on the day of the party. Hanap ako ng hanap, wala akong makita. I was mentally banging my head kasi bakit ba hindi ako bumili. I was close to being really frustrated when I saw this dress in my closet in the other room.

Dress: CELINE; Sandals: ALDO

Pak na pak.

I bought that dress mga 2 years ago. It was on sale at Celine. The fit was not that nice on me that time because medyo nag-hu-hug yung dress sa body. Kitang kita talaga lahat ng bilbil. I bought it anyway because I told myself, papayat din ako. True enough, after two years, it fits me perfectly!

Kaya wag kayong maniniwala dun sa sinasabi nila na wag bumili if hindi mo naman susuotin. This is a proof that you can buy things wishing it will fit you one day. It was a perfect emergency dress! Hahahahaha!

Anyway, Anika wanted a Jojo Siwa party so we looked for an outfit that Jojo Siwa will wear. The day before the party lang kami naghanap so medyo nastress ako ng slight. Imagine my excitement when I found a shiny shimmering skirt at H&M kids on sale! Php 500 lang! I also found a matching shirt that says GIRL POWER in Cotton On Kids. The rest of her outfit, sa closet na niya galing: the denim vest, pink Chuck Taylor sneakers and her big bow.

For her cookies giveaway, I asked Maggie of The Little Whisk to make ribbons. Have you seen the video of it in my IG feed? Kumikinang yung ribbons! I love it!

Wowa also brought her pang malakasang chocolate chip and oatmeal cookies for the guests. I forgot to take photos of them. I’m so sorry. Hindi ko naeendorse. But the guest loved her cookies. Mabenta.

Eto na, Anika’s cake.

I take our family celebrations as opportunities when I can discover fantastic cake makers. I discovered Cake Lane during Ellie and Gabo’s birthday last March. Tin got her to make their cakes. Nagandahan ako so I inquired.

Lane (the owner) did not disappoint. She’s very easy to talk to. The transaction was very smooth. I was pleasantly surprise kasi ang ganda ng cake. Ang ganda niya talaga. She got my peg to the dot. I felt so relieved. I get anxious kasi whenever I’m trying a new cake maker. Hindi mo sure eh. Unlike when you order from your suki (in my case, Tazzy Cakes), kampante ka kasi subok na. I love that she personally delivered the cake. Magandang first time customer service yun. I will definitely order from her again. I have to mention that her cakes are a lot affordable compared to the other cake makers that I’ve tried. Above average din ang quality so it was very, very sulit.

Anika asked me to put make up on her. She wanted to look like Jojo Siwa because she likes that singer so much. Idol na idol niya. When you go to CSA and see a little girl with a big bow, anak ko yun teh. Jojo Siwa of CSA yan.

I asked Fonz if he can be the official photographer for that day. All these photos are from him.

For your special celebrations, I highly suggest you to hire a photographer. One less iniisip na yun to have photos of the event. It will let you enjoy the party without worrying to take photos. Ang gaganda pa ng kakalabasan ng mga pictures. You can collate them and have them put in a book album.

Wag na kayo maghire ng mahal na photographer if your budget is tight. Kuha na lang kayo ng pa-free lance free lance lang. If you have a friend or a relative that’s into photography, the better. Libre pa. Hahaha! But if you don’t have, give Fonz a call. Message niyo ako for his phone number.

Here are some of the photos that day.

Isabel wore also an adorable big pink bow to match the theme. She’s the cutest baby ever!

Bing was a lifesaver! The night before Anika’s party, I realized walang balloons or kahit anong decor sa event place. I forgot! I didn’t want naman na super bare lang yung party and walang ka-decor decor. Hindi siya children’s party kung ganun. I called Bing to ask her if she knows anybody who can do the balloon decors for the next day and prayed. Buti na lang meron siya. Bing is the owner of Party Godmother Manila. You can contact her if you need anything for your parties. She has excellent party suppliers and she coordinates parties as well.

We asked Anika’s cousin, Gabriel to lead the opening prayer. Ang sweet ng magpinsan na yan.

That’s my face when Alvin says silly things. Haha!

After the party, the emcee asked Anika what was her birthday wish.

ANIKA: I wished for a baby brother. I’ve been wishing for that every year!

Then the emcee asked us what we thought about her wish.

ALVIN: Kung gusto mo ng baby brother, dun ka sa room mo matulog!

Syet. So embarrassing! Lelz.

There you go! Simple lang her party. The prizes were just from that wholesale toy store in Market! Market! The important thing is that we were able to celebrate it the way she wanted. Minsan lang naman kasi maging bata ang mga yan. We want them to grow old with a lot of happy childhood memories.

Happy birthday again, sweetheart! Nanay and Tatay love you soooo much!

Anika’s room is LT and Faye’s old room. It’s the most mapreskong room in the house.

We didn’t change anything except the paint color which Anika chose. Nevermind that I didn’t like the shade. It’s too bright for me. I wanted a wall sana with light pink, dark pink and white stripes kaso ayaw niya. I let her decide. It’s a good exercise for her. I want her to feel na her decisions are important for us too. Eh big deal sa kanya yung room niya. I am hoping that by doing this, I’ll be able to instill in her confidence. Nice din kasi that she has a feeling of ownership of her room because she was the one who decided on how it will look like.

For the storage, I asked my architect friend, Bevs, for ideas. She suggested a row of low cabinets that can double as a window seat. Perfect. Anika loved the ideas kasi she wanted a space for all her stuffed toys.

The curtains were made by LT. The strawberry ceiling light, we bought from Wilcon. If you on off it, nagiiba iba yung ilaw from warm yellow, white to combination of yellow and white.

I designed her closet. That’s supposed to be a sliding door kaso lang yung design ko pang normal closet door. Kaloka. We had it rectified pa.

Her bed’s the one in our old house. We didn’t buy a new one anymore. Probably a better bed mattress in the future na lang. I just got her nice beddings (not the one in the photo above).

I took the red bookshelf that was originally in our living room in our old house and placed it inside Anika’s room. I wanted her to have a collection of books eh. Pinipilit ko talaga si Anika to read. Malaking bagay if someone is a reader. It can take her places!

So there. Malamang, we’ll just change the wall paint as Anika grows old. Her room with grow with her.

If you are asking if Anika sleeps in her room now, ummm.. no pa din. Hahaha! Well, there’s a day in a week siguro that she sleeps in her room and then she comes back sleeping in ours. I guess we’ll just have to embrace that. Time will come when she will like privacy na and then we’ll look back to this day. Sulitin na lang namin siya.

What do you guys think of Anika’s room =)

Top: MANGO; Pants: LEVI’S; Shoes: CONVERSE

I remember a couple of weeks back, I asked you what you guys would like me to blog. One of the topics that was messaged to me was about working moms.

I get it. I mean, by just saying “please blog about working moms”, I understand why they want me to do that. Being a working mom is not easy. I am not saying that being a stay at home mom is easier. Life stopped being that easy for every mother since that little creature got out of our then tight and sexy bodies.

I actually blogged about that before na. I blogged about how a working mom like me survives. Click that link and it will go directly to that blog post.

Now, with Anika being 8 years old and all, I want to recap the lessons I learned in my first 8 years of being a working mother. This will be especially helpful for the working moms who are experiencing this for the first time.

The first lesson is that the guilt will never go away. Yung gnawing feeling niyo na yan the moment you stepped out of the house to go back to work after your first ever maternity leave? It will never go away. Eight years after, I still feel guilty working instead staying at home to take care of Anika full time. I tell myself that at least I can afford to buy Anika most of the things she needs and wants ‘coz I’m working, I still feel guilty. I wake up super early to personally prepare her baon every single day (even if I was puyat or had a hangover), I still feel guilty. I bring her to school before going to work, I still feel guilty. I make sure I attend almost all of her school performances, I still feel guilty. I feel guilty because I know, whatever it is I do, walang papalit sa care ng Nanay. I feel that Anika is getting substandard care because hindi ako yung nagaalaga sa kanya 24/7. That sucks but you know what I did?

I just accepted that fact. I accepted that fact because I know, when Anika grows up, she will understand why I had to work. I know that Anika will not love me any less. I know I am doing my darn best being the best mother for her. And I know, I am the best mother for her.

Natanggal ba yung guilt?

Nope.

It just got a little easier lunukin. So do not be surprised if one night you go home and find your baby sleeping already tapos bigla kang mag-eemote ng wagas because you weren’t able to spend time with your child before bedtime. Iiyak mo lang yan. It’s natural to feel that way. But that doesn’t make you a bad mom. Remember that always.

Next is that it’s okay to want being a working woman. Alvin said that I don’t need to work but I want to work. I want the satisfaction of being able to have accomplishments outside the house. I value professional growth. I need to learn more and improve myself in my field. Hindi masama yun. It’s not about being selfish. It’s about being a better person so that you can be a good mother and wife.

Next, you have to know that you can never give your 100% to your career and to parenthood at the same time. However, I know that I don’t need to tell you this but, you will always prioritize your family. It will come naturally to you so you don’t have to worry. Pero forever hindi ka 100% in both. When you’re at work, you will be mentally checking the things you need to do or buy for the house. May ulam pa ba? May snacks pa ba si Anika? Nagexpire na kaya shampoo ni Alvin sa dalas niya gamitin? Was I able to pay the bills? When you’re at home naman, you will think about work. I feel that because my staff has work on Saturdays. So even if I’m home, I’m technically on-call.

Next, there will be extra work for you. There are times that I take a leave off work because Anika’s sick. When I get back to the office, babawi ako. I make sure I accomplish more to make up with my absence. Like what I said earlier, I try to make extra effort for the things I do for Anika. Kahit na pagod na pagod ako the night before or puyat, I make her baon. Madaming times na I’ll be rushing from one point to another just to be able to attend Anika’s school activities. It will not be easy for you pero you will be able to do it. Why? Because you love being a mom and the same time, you also are passionate about your job.

Next, know that you can raise a physically, mentally and emotionally healthy child even if you are working. Pwedeng pwede yun. Anika is smart. She has good grades. She has above average social skills. She talks like an adult. When you speak to her in English, she will reply in English. If you talk to her in Filipino, she will reply to you in Filipino. She knows how to analyze. She knows how to weigh her decisions. She is very malambing. How did that happen? Quality time. I have often repeated that quality time trumps quantity all the time. Nasa bahay ka nga lagi kasama mo anak mo pero nakatutok ka naman sa phone mo all the time, wala din. Quality time is very important especially during the developing years (0 to 7 years old). A working mom can certainly give that. I make it to a point back then not bring office work home. Partida may blog pa ako. Okay lang yun. Basta meron kayong couple of minutes a day na kayo lang.

Next, ask for help. Hindi na uso ang mga martyr, mga mare. You cannot have a thriving full time job and a healthy family without anyone’s help. Ask for it. Welcome it. It will not make you less of a mother.

Lastly, never let anyone tell you what you should do. Block those mamarus (mamarunong) in your life. There will be a lot of women out there who will not agree that you chose to work over staying home and taking care of your kids. Don’t listen to them. What they’re doing now works for them and that doesn’t mean it will necessarily work for you too.  Remember that that is your child, that is your family and you are the mother. You will do what’s best for everyone. You have a good heart and ang pagiging nanay ay hindi nasusukat if nasa house ka lang or nagwowork ka. Wala yun dun.

There you go. I hope I was able to help in a way. Don’t worry because motherhood is a fun ride. There may be bumps in the road but I am sure you guys will be able to learn from them. Enjoy it. Don’t stress too much, ayt? A happy mommy makes a happy family!

I’m addicted to books. Like I buy them even though I know it will be ages since I will be able to read them.

Nowadays, I buy a lot of self-improvement books. I bought the 3 books in the photo over the weekend. Maganda kasi ang reviews.

However, parang ibang self help book yata ang kailangan ko nowadays.

One afternoon, I arrived home from work. Alvin and Alfred (as usual) were there. When I went to kiss Alvin, he tapped my head.

ME: What?!

ALVIN: Pagsabihan mo yang anak mo ha.

ME: What did she do?

ALVIN: Nagba-bike siya kanina sa labas. Nakatambay din kami ni Alfred sa labas. Tapos biglang lumapit sa akin. Sabi sa akin, “Tatay you know that boy, he likes to keep on touching my hair!”.

ME: So? Boys like to tease girls lalo na sa age nila na yan.

ALVIN: Anong so?! Kinikilig talaga siya habang nagkukwento siya eh!

ALFRED: Ikaw na ikaw, Nana. Kitang kita ko ikaw kay Anika kanina.

ME (to Alfred): Shut up. You’re not helping.

ALVIN: Bahala ka ha! Ayusin mo yang anak mo. Sinasabi ko sayo. Pagbubuhulin ko kayong mag-ina.

Wtf. High blood agad?!

You know mommies, I dunno ha, I’m approaching pa lang this stage where Anika’s starting to discover boys. Starting to discover them in a way na medyo different. I’m still a newbie. I can’t say that she’s too young ‘coz prep pa lang ako may crush na ako eh. But you know, I don’t think I should talk to her about it just yet. Hindi ko pa nakikita na may malisya eh. I’m afraid that when I talk to her and to her wala lang pala yun, nalagyan ko pa ng malice utak niya.

Anika is very vocal in nature. She laughs a lot. She’s very playful. She’s not asiwa with boys. I mean, when I see her in school, she treats them the same way she treats her girl friends.

Eto na, last Sunday morning, we were having breakfast, Alvin tapped my head again.

I don’t know what’s with him and the tapping of the head but it’s really annoying me.

ME: What now?

ALVIN: Yang anak mo ha. Nakuuu sinasabi ko talaga sayo!

ME: Ano na naman?

ALVIN: Pinapanood ko nung nagpra-practice sila ng cotillion na sayaw. Kilig na kilig na naman dun sa partner niya! Kung hindi lang ako kakanchawan nung mga nandun, tinuktukan ko yun.

ME: Paanong kilig na naman?

ALVIN: Tawa ng tawa. Kilig na kilig! Lagi na lang hinahampas yung partner niya habang tumatawa. Kitang kita mo na kilig na kilig eh.

I rolled my eyes at him.

ALVIN: Bahala ka ha. Sinasabi ko talaga sayo. Ayusin mo yang anak mo.

May sira? May sira ba si Anika at kailangan kong ayusin?!

In front of Alvin, I’m calm. I act as if everything is normal and everything is under control. But deep inside?! Pakshet! Do I need to worry?! She’s 8 years old. May malisya na kaya ang mga yan?

Like I said, Anika is like me. She’s not mahiyain. She says what she feels and express her emotions freely. Pagmasaya yan, tawa yan ng tawa. Being in a co-ed school, she’s very comfortable talking and dealing with girls and boys. Bakit daw yung ibang girls dun, hindi ganun. I said baka they’re shy. Pero kinikilig? I dunno ha.

To be sure, I talked to her while walking to church last night. I asked her about the cotillion and I asked her about her partner.

ME: Okay ba yung partner mo sa cotillion? Who is he?

ANIKA: Oh his name is blah blah blah. We were all laughing because we had to sit on the knees of our partners and the girls didn’t want. You know Nanay, we had a step that I’m holding my partner and then I turn around and then my arms got crossed in front of me. We were laughing and laughing.

Ayun naman pala eh.

I still feel it’s innocent. Wala lang yun. You can’t say naman that she’s looking for attention somewhere else because he doesn’t get it from us eh halos umikot na mundo namin dalawa ni Alvin sa kanya. I’m worried but not that worried yet. Maaga pa. Plenty of time to research how to deal with these scenarios. Is there a book about this? It’s very difficult if you have a daughter, ano?

You know what I’m actually scared of? Pagnaligawan siya ng maaga. God, the mere thought of it makes me so anxious. Anika is pretty. Hindi lang pretty na pretty lang but she has sass. She’s smart and has a great sense of humor. She’s very friendly and she likes it when people are natutuwa with her.

I’m so deadz.

Do I start talking to her about this na? Wala pa naman eh? Pero para prepared?

Mommies with experience na with this, what advice can you give me at this stage? Help!

Alvin and Anika are so close that I am almost jealous of how Anika adores him and how she looks up to him. In my daughter’s eyes, her Tatay is always right — to a point it gets annoying sometimes.

ALVIN: Ang iksi ng shorts mo. Hindi maganda.

ANIKA: Oo nga, Nanay!

Or

ALVIN: Ang hilig mo kasing magshopping eh.

ANIKA: Oo nga, Nanay!

Or

ALVIN: Kaya hindi ka tumangkad eh. Hindi ka kasi kumakain ng gulay.

ANIKA: Oo nga, Nanay!

Sabay high five!

I call Anika “The Echo” because lagi yang si oo nga pagdating sa Tatay niya.

Anika is also Alvin’s strongest defender.

ANIKA: Nanay, I saw Tatay smoking a cigarette.

ME: Then get mad at him so he’ll stop. We don’t want him to die early.

ANIKA: I did. But I saw him again smoking outside.

ME: Then get madder. Try not talking to him to make him feel that you’re mad talaga.

ANIKA: I can’t do that.

ME: Why? I thought you want him to stop smoking.

ANIKA (getting mad at me): If I don’t speak to him, how will I tell him I love him or I miss him before he dies? Sige nga?!

Ang morbid. Grabe.

There was this Sunday when Alvin took is motorcycle to a relative’s house nearby to have it fixed. Hindi na yan mapakali simula binili niya yung motor na yun. He always wants to go out so that he can drive it. Minsan, naghahanap pa yan ng anything that we need sa house just so he’ll have an excuse to ride the motorcycle. Eh we are supposed to spend time together as a family every Sundays. Alvin said that he’d be home daw around 9pm. Past 9 na, wala pa.

ME: Call your Tatay. He’s supposed to be home already. Ask him if he needs us to pick him up.

Anika called and was able to speak to Alvin.

ME: O, what did he say?

ANIKA: He said he’s on his way na. He’ll take the motorcycle.

ME: Pfft. He’s on his way na? Baka mamya sinasabi lang niya yun tapos late na siya uuwi.

Anika looked a me and took a deep breath (eto yung look na parang pinagpapasensyahan ka lang).

ANIKA: Nanay, do you trust Tatay?

ME: Yeah.

ANIKA: Then chill.

Hanep.

Chill-chillin ko silang mag-ama eh.

Although, I am very, very happy that they are close. Alvin will be her basis to judge all future men who will come in her life and Alvin is close to be that ideal man. At least, in Anika’s eyes. I believe dun sa saying that you marry someone like your father (or at least how you perceive your father). Gusto ko yung mataas yung level ng ipe-peg niya na ideal man. That is the reason why Alvin showers Anika with love, affection, and attention. Effort levels in making occasions extra special for her. Kahit simple lang, hindi expensive, pero may effort. Puros din yan si Alvin pangaral kay Anika. Wag maging matapobre. Help other people in need. She is pretty but she needs to be smart too. Respect other people. They also spend a lot of time together because of their music. Alvin taught Anika to play the guitar. He also spent to enroll Anika this summer for voice lessons. Alvin wants Anika to grow into a well rounded person.  Maganda din that Anika has a consistent father figure in her life. It will make her feel safe. Malambing silang dalawa sa isa’t isa. I am hoping with all the attention that Alvin’s giving him, hindi na muna siya agad agad maghahanap ng attention from other boys.

I wish. I wish. I wish.

And I shall pray very hard for that.

Last week, my boss asked me to go up to Baguio to check out one of our projects there because it’s nearing na its Ready For Occupancy date.

My psychiatrist tapered off na my meds to half tablet 2x a day two weeks ago. The withdrawal symptoms are manageable so feeling ko, keri ko na bumiyahe without Alvin and Anika. However, when we passed the restaurant we ate at the foot of Kenon Road, I had a mini anxiety attack. Trauma malamang yun because that place reminded me of that time in October last year when we went to Baguio tapos Anika had pneumonia. That started my anxiety disorder eh. Good thing I was able to control it. Self awareness is very, very important talaga. Know the signs and then know how to handle it so it will not go into a full blown panic attack.

Our trip was fast. TPLEX pala is until Pozzorubio already so derederecho talaga. I love it.

We had a walkthrough of the entire building first and then we had lunch at one of the Eat All You Can Korean Restaurants. After that, we had another walkthrough again, this time with the specialty contractor na sinadya ko talaga dun. The building is almost done.

It was cold in Baguio. 19 degrees in the evening. It rained kasi in the afternoon and I wished I wasn’t wearing a very light jacket. I finished working around 530 pm. I went to Vizco’s to have a Strawberry Shortcake while I blogged.

Ang sarap ng weather in Baguio despite being cold. Exage ang iniwan (at binalikan) kong init in Metro Manila! The coldness was a very nice break from all that heat despite overnight lang ako.

As expected, even with the meds, I wasn’t able to sleep straight through the night. Hindi talaga ako sanay. I kept on waking up every hour and by 5am, I finally gave up. I took a bath and went to church.

My meeting and walkthrough wasn’t until 8am so I walked and walked to look for a taho vendor. Gustong gusto ko magtaho. Ang layo ng nalakad ko. I even climbed that stairs to the Mansion.

I had to take a photo of this horse because it reminded me of Tanza, the first horse that Anika road when we were in Baguio. She was 1 year old then.

I thought there was taho at Wright Park. Wala. I went all the way to The Mansion, wala pa din. I went back na lang to our barracks. Ayun pala si Manong mangtataho. Kung san san pa ako nakapunta, dun lang pala sa kanto ng staff house namin kami magtatagpo.

I tried the strawberry taho for the first time and it was soooo good!

After that, I went to Starbucks to buy my breakfast and the lunch that I will make baon in the bus on my way back to Manila. I waited for an hour because 7:30 am nagbubukas ang Starbucks in Baguio. Unlike here in Manila, before 630am, open na sila.

I went back to our project site to do another walkthrough. Ang ganda the view of the upper units. The unit has a wrap around balcony! Pwede magparty ng “tsug! tsug! tsug!” at the balcony! Hahahaha!

After the meeting and a lot of bilins, I asked our driver to bring me to the bus station.

When they bought me the bus ticket, the only seats that are vacant are those at the back. I cannot sit at the back of the bus. I will die of hilo. Nakakahiya magsuka dun. If you want to transfer seats, you can naman pala. You just have to wait until the last minute until everyone with tickets have boarded. If may libreng seat pa, you can choose from those seats. I was happy because I was able to get a single chair at the 3rd row. Not bad na.

I like the first class bus. My ticket costs around Php 700 plus but I was super comfortable. The seats were wide. They had footrest. The back of the chair can be reclined ng malayo. There’s an outlet beside the seat for phone charges. There were free bottled water and snacks (Lemon Square cupcake and peanuts). The only challenge was going to the toilet. It was difficult to pee while squatting while the bus was moving. Parang airplane lang din.

I left Baguio at 11am and was at the Pasay terminal by 5pm. It was traffic kasi at EDSA given that it was a Friday.

Alvin and Anika picked me up at the bus station and I was home =)

Best to go to Baguio now because of the heat. Best to go to Baguio during weekdays because hindi traffic.

Gorabelles, mga bakla. There are a lot of long weekend coming!

I was looking at my white board and saw this rainbow drawing that Anika made for me. Natulala ako ng slight.

I feel weird nowadays. Alam niyo yung feeling na okay ka pero hindi ka okay?

I cannot place it. My blogs have been far in between. I have not been blogging because siguro if may writer’s block, I have blogger’s block.

I have so many notes/topics in my phone that I’d like to tell you about pero hindi lumalabas ng kusa from me the natural words eh. What’s happening to me? I feel so uninspired. Parang nawala ang daldal ko. Is this normal because I’m recovering from a disorder? I dunno. I feel sad because I love to blog. This is one of my safe places where I can be myself. Kaso parang naka-on guard ako lagi. Bakit kaya?

Baka shopping withdrawal? I have not shopped hard core for a long time. Baka this is it? Hahaha! Ang babaw.

Or because I’m obsessed with Netflix. Another LOL! But seriously, I am addicted with all the movies and TV series! First, there was The Crown. Then Star Trek. Then Lost In Space. And now, it’s Riverdale.

I. Cannot. Stop. Watching.

Baka ito na nga. Nagshut down blogging utak ko because of sobrang addiction to Netflix. Hahaha! But seriously, puwera plug, if you want to relax, get Netflix. They have so many nice shows and original movies.

Or sadyang na-busy lang ako with everything.

Don’t worry, I’m working on it. I will get my blogging mojo back =D

I’ve always loved hotel rooms. Alvin never understood why I always wanted to go to hotel staycations. May bahay naman daw. Parehas lang. Well, there’s something really relaxing about a good hotel room and I think it’s the bed. Ang sarap matulog under the thick duvets and soft pillows di ba?

That is why when we transferred to our first ever owned house, I told myself, dapat parang hotel ang room namin.

Na-achieve ko naman.

Now, here at our new house, of course dapat parang hotel feel pa din ang master’s bedroom.

The old master’s bedroom was super small lang. I asked Alvin to knock down the wall and move it 2.5 meters away so we’d have a bigger space. I don’t like small spaces. My anxiety acts up pagnakukulob ako.

I had the walls and cabinets painted white. Maaliwalas. Para hindi washed out naman masyado, I had one wall painted blue gray. I find that color very relaxing. For the flooring, supposedly vinyl planks yung ilalagay. However, when I was computing it, halos same price na sila ng Homogenous tiles. I found it more practical to get the tiles instead kasi the vinyl tiles have the tendency umangat after a while especially if not installed properly. I love the wood design 60 x 60 cm tiles that Alvin found. It went very well with the room.

We are using the same bed that we had in our former house. Ganun pa din, white lahat ng sheets and pillow cases. May duvet. Thank you Wowa for buying these sheets. Mataas ang thread count kaya super lambot. I highly recommend investing on high quality beddings. This will be the place where we will relax after a long day. Para que ka pa nagtratrabaho ng wagas if hindi comfortable your bed, right? Sulit mga mare.

We also brought in our white side tables. Keri pa naman eh. Nakakapanghinayang bumili ng bago.

Initially, I wanted to get a really nice vanity table but for some reasons, nanguripot ako. Pagsasawaan ko muna our old one.

For the curtains, I have not bought the right ones yet but I am sure they will be dark colored. Isasabay ko na dun sa curtains sa sala. Until now wala pa din akong pamalit. I want to buy na lang in Divisoria. I hear they have quality but affordable ones there naman. Depends though san ako mauna magka-time bumili, there or dun sa curtain store talaga.

I need to buy lamps though. Luray luray na the lamp by Alvin’s side. I want to get matching ones.

I had our closets pasadya. I designed them. If you were following our renovations, you’ll find them in one of my posts. We had that chest of drawers na and they’re okay pa so I designed the closet size around it.

Our closet doors should have been mirrors sana. Kaso (1) magmumukhang motmot ang room namin and (2) bad feng shui daw when there’s mirror at the foot of your bed. So I just had the mirrors installed on Alvin’s closet doors instead. So funny because until now, the door handles sa taas are not installed yet. Ewan ko ba. I bought them already (twice!) and laging nawawala. Kamote.

Our master’s bedroom is still a work in progress. I wanna put thick rugs on the floor of both sides of the bed. Ang sarap din kasi ng feeling of the soft, fluffy feel sa feet when you get up in the morning. I’m still convincing Alvin that we need a bigger bed. Queen size lang kasi ito and albeit having a really nice room na, parang Anika will still be sleeping with us till God knows when. She’s getting bigger and sumisikip na talaga during bedtime. I hope he relents soon. Masarap maggulong gulong sa big bed. Lelz.

I’m almost done showing you the renovations of our house. Kitchen na lang ako kulang and I’ll get to that soon. Don’t worry though. Ang dami pang for improvement sa house. Hopefully, we’ll be able to decorate more and then finish the garden area before this millenium ends. Hahaha!

Good night guys!

I often hear girls saying na depressed daw sila. When I eavesdrop further (sorry), depressed daw sila because they can’t find anything to wear that day or depressed daw sila because hindi daw sila pinapansin ni churva eklaver.

Depressed agad? Hindi ba pwedeng, sad muna?

Ladies, depression is a mental illness. It is not an emotion. You will not want to be depressed, believe me. Isusumpa niyo yung feeling. Sadness is an emotion. It’s okay to be sad. It is not normal if you do not feel or have never felt sadness in your life. So malamang if you are still functioning very well physically, emotionally and mentally, malamang sad ka lang. You are not depressed. If you are depressed, you need to seek help immediately otherwise, it will worsen. It can take your life too, if not treated.

Here are some of the symptoms of depression from the American Psychiatric Association Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders. I got it from this website.

1. feeling depressed throughout each day on most or all days
2. lack of interest and enjoyment in activities you used to find pleasurable
3. trouble sleeping, or sleeping too much
4. trouble eating, or eating too much, coupled with weight gain or weight loss
5. irritability, restlessness, or agitation
6. extreme fatigue
7. unwarranted or exaggerated feelings of guilt or worthlessness
8. inability to concentrate or make decisions
9. suicidal thoughts or actions, or thinking a lot about death and dying

Sa mga clueless until now, lemme repeat it, there are a lot of risk factors for depression. From the same website, I shall repost the list here:

• early childhood or teenage trauma
• inability to cope with a devastating life event, such as the death of a child or spouse, or any situation that causes extreme levels of pain
• low self-esteem
• family history of mental illness, including bipolar disorder or depression
• history of substance abuse, including drugs and alcohol
• lack of family or community acceptance for identifying as lesbian, gay, bisexual, or transgender (LGBT).
• trouble adjusting to a medical condition, such as cancer, stroke, chronic pain, or heart disease
• trouble adjusting to body changes due to catastrophic injury, such as loss of limbs, or paralysis
• history of prior mental health disorders, including anorexia, bulimia, post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), or anxiety disorder
• lack of a support system, such as friends, family, or coworkers

Depression also may be a side effect of some medicines: meds that reduce your blood pressure (beta blockers), meds that provide relief from swelling, redness, itching, and allergic reactions (corticosteroids), hormonal meds and meds that treats high cholesterol (statins).

Minsan din, walang trigger. Like mine before. I was happy and I didn’t have any problems. Then BAM! Nagkadepression ako.

Malalaman mo if you should seek treatment already if you are feeling extreme sadness, or if you are feeling the 9 symptoms in the first list I showed you, for more than two weeks na. Ayan, hindi na talaga healthy yan. Best to see a specialist immediately. They will counsel you and give you suggestions on the changes you can do in your life that can help you overcome depression. One of the best suggestions out there is to simplify your life in the best way you can. Hindi kailangan maging complicated. Hindi kailangang sobrang busy. Hindi kailangang stressful. Manage your expectations. And then pray.

If you have a loved one or know someone who says they have depression, utang na loob, wag niyong sasabihan ng “Wala yan!” or “Lilipas din yan.” or worse, “Drama mo lang yan.”. Gusto kong suntukin yung mga taong ganyan, promise. I’ve said it a million times. Mental illnesses are very hard to explain to people who do not have it. Ang pangit naman sabihin na sana meron din kayo para ma-gets niyo yung may mga ganito, di ba? What you can do is to read more about it. Educate yourselves about it. Be there for your loved one.

If wala kayong time gawin yun, then shut the hell up. You might be able to save a life.

Bow.

References:
https://www.healthline.com/health/depression/depression-vs-sadness#takeaway
https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-squeaky-wheel/201510/the-important-difference-between-sadness-and-depression

Top: MANGO; Pants: MANGO; Sandals: BIRKENSTOCK

I have kwento.

My officemates and I were dining at this famous chicken restaurant. When the drinks were served, it was weird because all the glasses given were babasagin except for one na nasa paper cup. My officemate asked the girl waiter about it.

OFFICEMATE: Bakit sa akin paper cup?

WAITRESS: Baka po kasi yung Bruno Mars meal ang inorder niyo.

May Bruno Mars meal? Medyo soshal ng slight dito. Wala naman kami sa fastfood.

OFFICEMATE: Hindi. Ang inorder ko ay ito. (pointing to the menu)

WAITRESS: Baka promo yung meal na kinuha niyo.

OFFICEMATE: Promo meal ba ito?

WAITRESS: At hindi.

Pause.

WAITRESS: Bakit ho, may problema ba sa baso niyo?

That was the time I spoke up.

ME: Walang problema. Tinatanong ka lang namin bakit iba yung baso niya dahil weird.

Being a head of a customer service oriented department, I get easily irritated with bad customer service. The waitress should have not used the words “May problema ba sa baso niyo?”. Parang nanghahamon ng away sa kanto eh. I always teach my staff that no matter how annoying the client is, habaan dapat nila pasensya nila. Be courteous all the time regardless kung gaano ka-salbahe or irrational yung client. I tell my people to be genuinely helpful. Hindi plastic. Mas nakakairita din yung insincerity.

However, I tell my staff that if minura na sila or if binastos na sila, ibang usapan na yun. I taught them if minura sila over the phone, they have to inform the client that there is no need to say bad words and once they say it again, they will terminate the call. If minura sila ulit, I allowed them to put the phone down on client. Heller. As a human being, you have the right to be mad. Pwede kang magsisigaw sigaw diyan. But you do not have the right murahin ang ibang tao. If face to face naman, I tell them to leave the client without being bastos if ganun na ang client. Tell the client to cool down first and just call them if they still want to talk.

I realized in all businesses, customer service is very important. You can have the best product there is but if the customer service sucks, the customers will go elsewhere.

Another example is when Wowa, Anika and I dined at Mazendo Restaurant at S Maison. I will never forget that day.

Before we decided to eat, Anika threw up big time at the toilets. Awang awa si Wowa. Feeling ko there was something that made her tummy upset. Anika was latang lata so I had to carry her. We went to Mazendo t because we figured they’d have noodles and soup which will be good for Anika. We sat down and the waiter got our orders. He said that the food will be ready in 15 to 20 minutes.

30 minutes after that wala pa din our food. Wowa followed it up. Nakita namin silang nagkakagulo.

The fuzz. Nakalimutan nila lutuin our order!

Wowa was starting to get angry. She was so hungry plus Anika was whining already how her tummy hurts na and wants soup.

I called the manager.

He arrived and pinagdudahan ko pa ng slight if manager nga siya kasi ang bata and mukhang bubugoy bugoy. He showed us his ID. Manager on duty nga.

I told him what happened. I told him namimilipit na anak ko sa sakit ng tiyan. You know what he said?

MANAGER: Ma’am sorry po talaga. Lalabas po ang food niyo in 5 minutes. Ako na po ang aasikaso sa inyo.

He went to the kitchen and got busy. I know because the restaurant had an open kitchen so kita mo talaga everything that is happening inside.

Anika’s noodle soup went out of the kitchen in 2 minutes. Our food arrived in 5 minutes. The manager gave us a free drink.

Yan ang customer service, mga bakla. We cannot guarantee that things will always go the right way. But if nagka-bulilyaso, you should step up your customer service.

If you go shopping in SM for example, you will see that the salespeople are trained well. Kahit na tumatakbo pa yang salesman, if you ask him something, he will stop and he will accompany you to somebody who can help you. And then he will start running again towards anywhere he was going. They are very accommodating. Like magtutulong tulong pa silang lahat just to help you find that thing you are looking for.

Try niyo naman sa Landmark. The salespeople there naman need more training on customer service. I asked where I can find a certain product, they will say, I don’t know. That is bad. Never say I don’t know to your clients. Try to help them find it. Or ask somebody else. Mapakita niyo man lang na may empathy kayo sa customers. Sometimes naman when I ask them for something, they will just walk away expecting you to follow them (without saying anything and with their hands at their backs ha). Tapos pagdating niyo in that aisle where the product is supposed to be tapos wala, sasagutin ka nila ng, “Wala po kami.”. It’s nakakawalang gana kasi wala man lang rapport.

Eto sa Divisoria pinaka-wild. I went there with Alvin. I spent 15 minutes picking and choosing the items that I’d like to buy. Maliliit na items lang. Pens, paper clips, mga anik anik. Ang dami kong napili. One basket was not enough for all the things I wanted to get. When I was about to pay, I made tawad. Ayaw. Alvin made tawad. Ayaw. Alvin said, sige na, kahit piso lang, para masabi na nakatawad kami.

Ayaw.

The owner would not even look at us.

ALVIN (to me): Ibalik mo na yan lahat na yan Babe. Wag kang bumili diyan.

I did a mental computation on my total purchase sana. Aabot siya sa Php 4,000. Dahil sa piso, nawalan sila ng benta.

At dahil din sa piso, nasayang oras ko sa pagpili hahaha! But naka-support ako kay Alvin. The owner of the stall was very stoic. Wala siyang pakialam sayo.

You see, genuine customer service is very important. I am not saying to always give in to the clients. We don’t do that too. We have a company policy and rules to follow. But we make sure maayos naman ang pakikiusap.

This is also a good lesson for all of us as customers. Let’s not be salbahe to people who are serving us. Tao din ang mga yan. We have the right to get angry but we should not be mean. Well anyway, kung magwala wala ka naman diyan, it reflects on your own personality and not that of ng kinakainisan mo, right?

O tara, shopping na tayo pa more!

Save the best for last, they say.

Until we finish decorating the interior of the house and until we finally decide what to do with our landscaping, here’s the last installment of our Sombrero Renovations: our kitchen

This is the part of the house that I am most proud of because I was the one who decorated everything. I designed the layout, the kitchen cabinet design, color combination, lahat lahat, ako ang nagdesign. Well, except for the lighting na si Alvin talaga ang bahala for the whole house. I just told him gusto ko maaliwalas yung feel and ayoko ng madilim.

Tara, I’ll show you the before and after photos.

Our kitchen in the old house was really tiny and was in dire need of a renovation.

First on my list when we were renovating, I needed to make the space bigger. As in a lot, lot bigger.

I asked Alvin to knock down the wall and move it almost 5 meters away. I also asked him to make the lighting brighter. I wanted our kitchen to be black and white lang. However, when the kitchen cabinets arrived, they were in light blue gray color. I wanted to cry. I’m sure you’ve read here all about my drama and hanash about it. Nevertheless, wala nang magagawa. I wanted to return the kitchen cabinets but we were running out of time na. Naghanap na lang ako ng backsplash tiles that will match it.

If you will notice, my kitchen cabinets have invisible cabinet handles =) I wanted the kitchen to be modern. At first, Alvin said they looked like office cabinets and I wanted to cry when I heard it. Bwiset. Bakit hindi maappreciate yung clean lines?! Tingnan niyo nga, malinis na malinis tingnan. Walang mga naka-umbok. I realized Alvin and I are very different talaga. He’s more into contemporary and curves. Ako si minimalist, zen and straight lines. Good thing I took dibs na on the kitchen. Sabi ko wag na niya ako pakialaman here. I am happy he let me be.

Anyway, dinugo ako sa mahal ng backsplash but it was worth it. I got glass mosaic tiles. Alvin installed lighting under the cabinets and everything looked pretty and shiny, just the way I like it.

I can say that this part of the house was the most expensive when it came to renovation costs. Yung overhead and base modular cabinets pa lang were around 70k na. The Granite countertop was around 30k. Halos 5 meters ang haba ng kitchen ko eh. Yung glass mosaic tiles pa.

For the flooring, I chose simple 60×60 cm white tiles. Minimalist and clean ang peg.

But you know, it all felt super sulit. I had a lot of storage spaces. I know my countertop is sturdy and will last for a long, long time. And even though I wasn’t able to get what I originally wanted, I loved how fresh and simple my kitchen look like now.

Two more things that I love about this space are the recipe book shelves and the counter top.

Cute di ba? I got the idea from Pinterest.

And the counter top, bata pa ako, pangarap ko na magkaron ng countertop so pinush ko talaga ng bongga. Hahaha!

Since my kitchen area is very long, I was able to put a breakfast nook. I made sure to make it functional so there are cabinets under the seats.

That photo is not update pa pala. I got this nice table from Upcycle Manila and it really matches the lighting fixtures.

I’ll show them to you. Picturan ko lang muna.

There are no photos lang but, apart from the indoor kitchen, I asked Alvin to put a dirty kitchen outside as well. Nandun nagaganap ang lahat ng cooking and washing the dishes. Bawal gamitin ang kitchen sa loob. Masyadong maganda. Pang decorate lang yun. Charot. Hahahaha! I’m the only one who uses the indoor kitchen. Sa dalang ko magluto, for sure hindi siya malalaspag =)