One of my coaches read my last blog entry. She said it’s okay naman daw to post. One, healing is not linear. Talagang may ups and downs. Tragis pagdown, mga bakla. I feel frustrated because parang bakit hindi ako nagiimprove. But that thinking is not right. I have to look at the progress hindi yung bad things lang. I have progress. Regardless if mabagal, it is still progress and I should be proud of it. Two, a lot of people learn from me. They are encouraged to seek help and they feel na hindi sila nagiisa sa nararamdaman nila.
I believe her. You cannot imagine how many messages I get with ladies telling me that they can super relate to me. They thank me for opening up because it makes them feel that they are not alone. I wish I was better so I can help them too.
Like what I have told you a lot of times before, it is very hard to explain this issue to people who do not have it. A lot will say na ang arte ko lang. A lot will say na kayang kaya naman. A lot will say na ang hina-hina ko naman. Iniisip ko kasi ng iniisip. I have to get over it daw. Ayaw ko naman sabihin na sana maranasan niyo and tingnan natin kung parehas pa din ang sasabihin niyo. I will never say that. This is something you will not wish for even for your worst enemy.
So instead, I will try to help those who have anxiety and are under sobrang stress. I have learned tools to manage it or to lessen it when it attacks. Coach Ai (www.aileenangcbt.com) told me that anxiety only lasts for 90 seconds dapat. Kaya tumatagal is because we entertain the thought. And then we get more anxious. The key is to do something when you feel it. Here are some of the tools I’ve learned from my coaches, the internet and from research that I’ve tried:
1. If anxiety attacks without reason, accept it. Do not fight it. Don’t panic more because it will worsen. Tell yourself, “Okay, I have anxiety now. It will pass after I do deep breathing.”. Then do deep breathing exercises. One of my blog readers told me that she befriended her anxiety. I tried it once. Medyo humupa nga. Sabi ko, “O nandiyan ka na naman. Okay. Maya maya mawawala ka.”. Then I did deep breathing.
2. If anxiety attacks and you know the reason why, process it. Write it down. Coach Leah of Heartworks Healing taught me this. Get a paper and pen and write down whatever it is that you are feeling. Sige lang. Free writing. Sulat ka lang ng sulat spontaneously. You will find relief after.
3. Also from Coach Leah, do the hand over heart. Then the breathing exercises. You can do the box breathing or the 5 seconds inhale and then 5 second exhale breathing.
4. Practice mindfulness. Paano? When you feel the anxiety or stress find 5 things that you can see. Say them out loud. And then 4 things you can feel (rough surface, smooth, cold, hot), 3 things that you can hear, 2 things that you can smell and 1 thing you can taste. This is to prevent overthinking.
5. When I feel sobrang sad and hopeless, ito naman yung pinagawa sa akin. Write down 5 things I am grateful for, 4 people who love me, 3 of my strengths, 2 happy memories and 1 goal.
6. Another tool is writing down your fears. Isulat niyo. Maganda na nababasa niyo ito and nababalikan. But do not stop there. Beside your fear, write down a solution or something you think that can help with that fear.
7. Tapping technique. I learned this from one of my Emotional Freedom Technique sessions at UNLTD. You can watch a sample of how to do it here:
8. Put your hands under your armpits. Put your right hand under your left armpit and your left hand under your right armpit. Stay there. Another is ganyan din pero sa thighs. Sitting down, hold your inner left thigh with your right hand. Hold your inner right thigh with your left hand. Naka-cross ngayon yung wrists mo.
These are the tools that I have tried and were effective in lessening the level of anxiety. Minsan matigas lang din ulo ko because I cannot help but to overthink. Maling mali yun. But I have always been like that and it will take time to unlearn it.
Bottom line, when you feel the anxiety, need gumawa ng something else so that the intensity will lessen or if swerte, will go away at that moment.
So there, I hope I was able to help you guys manage your stress and anxiety.
I was able to help myself too knowing nakatulong ako today.