I remember when Anika was born, she had a lot of clothes. As in super dami, mas madami pa siyang clothes compared to Alvin. She had so many pretty clothes that she never almost repeated an outfit whenever we went out. When she started her toddler class, hindi din siya halos umuulit ng damit in school.
I blame myself.
I loved buying clothes for her. I loved dressing her up from from when she was born until now.
And hindi ako nagsisisi.
I won’t be able to bring back how young she was anymore. Hindi ko na mababalik ang panahon dun. It is okay because nasulit ko siya. Na-enjoy ko yung moments na binibihisan ko siya like a live Barbie doll. I mean, if I look back and when I look at the photos, happy ako. One of the reasons why I have always wanted a baby girl was to dress her up. Na-achieve ko yung goal ko na yun with Anika.
I am telling myself this now because I swear I can no longer make Anika wear want I want anymore. Since last year, she doesn’t take any of my suggestions what to wear. Kung ano ang gusto niya, that’s what’s she’s going to wear. Not unless, utuin mo siya, good luck.
It’s okay though. This helps her show her own style and her personality.
Speaking of clothes, Anika is still able to wear this Stella by Tala dress that I got her when she was 2 years old.
Astig di ba?
Hay.
Ka-ganda talaga ng anak ko. Though, Alvin doesn’t want me to keep on saying that in front of Anika.
ME: Bakit ba?
ALVIN: Ayokong lumaki ang ulo niya. At saka baka hindi na mag-aral dahil maganda siya.
ME: Alam mo ba na nung bata ako, lagi ako sinasabihan nina Mama and LT na maganda ako. Pati mga kamag-anak ko sinasabi na maganda ako. So lumaki ako na ang alam ko is maganda ako. Malaking bagay yung nagawa nun sa confidence ko ha. Hindi ako na-iinsecure sa ibang tao kasi alam ko, maganda ako. Tapos I did well pa sa school tapos varsity pa ako so ang confidence level ko talaga mataas. Dala ko yang confidence na yan until tumanda ako. Hindi ako nahiya mag-make ng new friends. Hindi ako nahiya umakyat sa stage. Maganda performance ko sa mga first jobs ko because of my confidence. Hindi naman lumaki ulo ko. Maayos naman ako. Makapal nga lang ang mukha pero confident ako. With Anika, kailangan lang natin ulit ulitin sa kanya na beauty is just a small part of it. She needs to be mabait and smart too.
Silence.
Cue in senti background music…
ME (maiyak iyak): Kaya ba halos never mo ako sinasabihan na maganda ako?
ALVIN: O! Paano naman tayo napunta dun?! Sinasabihan kita ng maganda ka noh!
ME: Never Babe. Never mo ako sinabihan na maganda ako. Inaassume ko lang lagi.
ALVIN: Yun naman pala eh. Hindi mo na ako kailangan sabihan na maganda ka.
ME: Iba pa rin siyempre yung galing sa asawa noh.
ALVIN: Sinasabihan kita ng maganda ka.
ME: Babe. As in never. Sinabihan mo ako once nung first year high school ako na maganda boses ko. Hindi na nga naulit yun ever eh at ikaw lang ang bukod tanging nakapagsabi nun sa akin in my whole life. Pero maganda, never mo ako sinabihan nun.
Cue in senti background music again…
Okay lang actually. Lol. I was just giving Alvin a hard time. Nandito na tayo sa point where medyo may na-accomplish na tayo so hindi na kailangan ng validation sa fez.
Charot.
Pero nakaka-kilig pa din if sasabihan ka ng asawa mo na maganda ka eh. Lalo na kung ang asawa mo ay si Robin Padilla Alvin Sombrero.
=)