This pair is one of my favorite pants nowadays.
They feel like I’m wearing pajamas. Medyo inaantok ako more often when I’m wearing them pero that is just because super comfortable niya. I have to wear heels with it though. Mukha talaga kasi akong unano when I wear it eh.
Anyway sorry, madami ulit feelings etong post ko. As much as I want to keep my blog light and fun, hindi naman ganyan talaga ang totoong buhay di ba?
Last weekend, we went to the first birthday party of Pineda’s son. The theme was golf and the kids were encouraged to dress up according to the theme. Anika chose her costume with a matching hat. She also brought her golf club with her.
Towards the end of the program, the party host asked the kids to go to the front because they will be choosing the kids with the best costumes. Anika ran to her Tatay to get her hat. Unang una siya sa harap. She stood beside the person who was picking the winners.
I was standing at the back of the room watching them. I watched the assigned person choose sino sino yung mga kids na mananalo. As she was choosing a kid, that girl or boy would rush to the prizes table to get her prize. I saw Anika smiling widely while looking expectantly to that person. Tumatalon talon pa. Gusto niya ng prize. Atat na atat siya manalo. Naiisip ko talaga ano umaandar sa utak niya: “Pick me! Pick me!”. As they called the winners, I literally saw Anika’s wide smile freeze and drop little by little. Pahina ng pahina din yung mga jumps niya. Soon after, they called na the name of the last winner. Hindi siya napili. I saw Anika bow her head down. I felt that she will look for me in the crowd so I looked away. Kunwari busy ako.
Naawa kasi ako.
Totoo that whatever your child feels, you feel it double. Double ang happiness. Double ang sadness. Double ang disappointment.
But I do not want to show her that. Ganyan talaga ang buhay eh. You will not win at everything. You are not entitled to be a winner. Eh sa merong may mga mas magaganda ang costume kaysa sa kanya eh, it’s nobody’s fault that she lost.
And I’m not going to console her.
I am not even going to take part if she will make a big deal out of it.
She went to me.
I looked at her.
ME: Isn’t the party super fun?
ANIKA: Yeah I lost though.
ME (kunwari patay malisya): Huh? Lost what?
ANIKA: The costume contest thingy.
ME: Oh right. You okay?
ANIKA: Yeah. Good. Have you seen my candies?
Whew.
I don’t want to baby her. She’s almost 7 years old and I think that is old enough to be able to understand that you can’t be bitter when you lose. I learned that from the article The 20 Most Common Parenting Mistakes – According To A Family Psychologist.
I highly suggest that you read the article but I’m going to list down the 20 parenting mistakes here.
- Giving them too many choices
- Praising them for everything they do
- Trying to make the child happy
- Overindulging them
- Keeping them too busy
- Thinking SMART will save them
- Thinking a strict religion will give them perfect values and save them
- Withholding common information about important topics – like sex
- Being hyper critical of the child’s mistakes
- Using shame, shunning or threats
- Making kids do things inappropriate for their age
- Not limiting screen time
- Not letting kids get bored
- Protecting kids from their own consequences and loss —> eto yun sa party
- Not letting kids play dangerously
- Not debriefing kids at bed time
- Not reading to very young children
- Pulling pacifiers too soon
- Not regulating food
- Spanking children older than 5
Soooo… ano na ang gagawin natin, ano?
Hahahaha!
Raising kids is not easy. I’m not saying that we follow everything on the list. Kanya kanya pa ding diskarte yan guys. And I strongly believe that no matter what, you will always know what is best for your kids.