Did you ever have that funny feeling when you realize that sometimes you take for granted a lot of things in your life?
We whine and whine about so many stuff that when you encounter a problem so big and heavy, mare-realize mo, ang pu-puny pala ng mga problema mo dati.
Alvin and I were like that for the past two years. Grabe ang pinagdaanan namin, lalo na si Alvin. Grabe ang 24 months na yun. Nagkalinaw lang this weekend when his clearance from this government body was released last Friday. Natapos na din sa wakas yung kalbaryo. Nakahinga na din kami sa wakas.
Mabuti sana if Alvin deserved to go through all of these eh. Ang naging kasalanan lang niya is that he trusted people he thought hinding hindi siya sasaktan or gagawan ng masama. Ang second kasalanan niya was to trust unworthy people. Eto yung mga tao na ang trabaho araw araw is to take advantage nung mga taong dapang dapa na sa problema. I told Alvin nga eh. Paano kaya nabubuhay ang mga taong tulad niyan? Lalo na yung mga taong deliberately niloloko ka to take advantage ng vunerable stage mo? Yung mga walang konsenya? I cannot believe how they get through everyday doing bad things to others. I cannot believe that these kinds of peopl exist. Period.
Buti din sana if all these affected just one person.
Hindi eh.
Grabe the effect to our family. Imagine the trauma of the thought of being arrested and put to prison. Imagine the trauma of losing everything na naipundar niyo. Imagine letting go of all the money you have worked hard for. Imagine how hard it was for me to put up a strong facade for my husband everyday. Hindi ako makaiyak. I couldn’t break down in front of him. If he saw me break down, I know he will totally lose it. Imagine living day by day for 24 months praying na sana wag malaglag sa depression ang mahal mo sa buhay. Imagine all the pep talk I gave him. Nasisiraan na ako ng bait that time pero hanap ako ng hanap san ako huhugot ng lakas para lang may ma-i-pep talk sa kanya. Imagine how all these have put a toll to our marriage. Our marriage hung by a thread for a long time. Kumapit lang talaga kami ng sobra. Imagine the pain, stress and worry that was inflicted to Alvin’s parents. Mababait ang mga yun. Mabubuti at matitinong tao. Matatanda na. Hindi healthy sa kanila ang pinagdaanan nila. Imagine the guilt that Alvin felt thinking he was the cause of the problems he was giving me. Imagine the guilt of Alvin every time his mom offered him her retirement money.
Naiimagine niyo lahat yun?
Grabe di ba?
I wanted to get mad. I wanted to name and bash everyone that was involved. Guato ko gumanti but punigilan namin sarili namin. Pinapasa-Diyos na namin lahat yun. I promised God I will not seek revenge or wish ill to anyone basta matapos lang ang problema namin.
Hence the caption on my OOTD post for today in my Instagram page =)
Top: UNIQLO; Pants: UNIQLO; Shoes: NEW BALANCE; Bag: BALENCIAGA; Sunglasses: PRADA; Necklace: PIESA.PH
We really feel so light now. Nabunutan nga kami ng malaki-laking tinik. Ang ganda ng inayos ng aura ni Sombrero. Naluha nga ako kanina when we went to mass. Thank you lang ako ng thank you kay God.
I thank Him for the release of the clearance. I thanked Him that He kept our family intact despite the hardships. I thanked Him for all our friends. I thanked Him that He showed us the people who matters. These are those who never left our side. Nakita namin sino sino lang talaga ang mahal kami. I also thanked Him for all the lessons we learned from the past two years.
Ang sarap ng feeling.
I want to take this opportunity to say thank you to Alvin’s family. Maraming salamat tinulungan niyo siya/kami. Maraming salamat hindi niyo kami pinabayaan. Thank you to our friends. Salamat sa support. Salamat for just being there when we were so down.
I am thankful hindi ko kinailangan magbenta ng mga bags and gamit ko.
Joke lang. Lol.
But yes, I am very grateful now.
Hindi niyo nahalata that I had a very heavy problem ano? Ganyan kasi talaga ang buhay mga ateng. We should always be positive because we attract what we think. Life will go on so we all just need to carry on with our lives. Hindi naman yan titigil dahil may mabigat ka na problema eh. It is also not nice na magkimkim ng hatred. I have let go. For me, again, I am just thankful that this is over. Naka-dapa pero babangon na. Sabi nga ni Vivian, ang pinaka-madaling problem is pera kasi we can earn it afterwards. Mabuti na yan lang ang binigay sa amin.
And all these just made us stronger.
Bow.