A number of you are asking my reaction and my stand regarding what happened with Sarah Geronimo and her mom, Mommy Divine. National issue ata siya. Charet.
Quick background:
Based on the news report and what Sarah’s bodyguard relayed when he was interviewed by Tulfo, sumugod daw si Mommy Divine sa isang posh hotel in BGC at nagwala dun with matching shouting the words, “Traydor kayo!”. Galit na galit because Sarah and her fiance, Matteo, got married through civil rites without telling her. Apparently, Mommy Divine does not approve of the relationship. Sarah is 31 years old while Matteo is 29 years old. They’ve been together for 6 years already. Ganyan din nangyari when Sarah was dating Rayver Cruz. Hindi din niya approved ang relationship.
PEP posted an article containing a 4 hour interview (her first and only) of Mommy Divine. Click HERE to go to the link.
I just finished reading it and ummm.. mas madami akong hindi naintindihan. Hahahaha!
Anyway, first and foremost, I have to say that at this point, we cannot judge Mommy Divine because we do not really know the whole story kasi wala naman tayo dun. Hindi tayo nakatira sa bahay nila and we are not there to witness all the things that has happened from the start. Second, buhay nila yun. Hindi tayo dapat nakikialam. Third, I want to think kasi that all mothers wants what’s best for their children. Being a mother myself, sa tingin ko walang sino mang magulang ang may gustong mapasama ang mga anak nila.
But if I base it only on what I read in that article, I feel that my brothers and I are very lucky that my parents never obliged us to give them money once we started working. Pinagtapos nila kaming magkakapatid sa universities of our choice and they never asked us for money afterwards. Alam ko hindi lahat ng family ay maluwag. Alam ko din na parang nasa culture na natin na after the children graduate, obliged sila pag-aralin yung mga kapatid nila and buhayin yung family. Especially the elder kids.
Kaya nagpapasalamat ako kay Mama and Papa. Maswerte kami na hindi ganun yung naging mindset nila. Pero sila ganun din sa family nila ha? They were somehow responsible for their younger siblings and their parents after graduation. Ganun sila ata talaga nung araw especially sa province. Pero in the present time, my parents worked and lived their lives in a way na hindi sila magiging financially dependent on us. They didn’t think that we “owe” them something by raising us.
Take note, hindi kami mayaman ha. My parents were normal employees. They worked an 8am to 5pm job. When I was in Amsterdam, I saw how hard my dad worked. Halos 11pm na umuuwi araw araw sa overtime. Si Wowa, nagsasangla ng alahas para may pang tuition ako during hard times. We’d eat 3 times a day (sometimes more) and may pangluho ng konti. But despite all of that, we were never obliged na buhayin sila. I was never obliged pag-aralin mga kapatid ko after I graduated. Bahala kami sa buhay namin san ilalagay the money we earn after graduation. It was never imposed on us na magbigay para sa kanila. It gave us the liberty to do what we wanted to do with our money. It also gave me a chance to concentrate na lang sa family ko.
Swerte ako. Swerte kami because hindi lahat ng parents ay ganun, by choice man sila or not in life.
I have to note though that just in case mangailangan sila financially, I know, my brother and I will not have second thoughts. Tutulong kami agad agad. Ganun nila kami pinalaki. May utang na loob.
Ganyan din sana ang gusto ko for Anika. This is the reason why I am working hard now. I also don’t like to obligate Anika paglaki niya. I don’t want to burden her to mind us financially pagnagka-work na siya. Gusto ko, pera niya is pera niya. I want her to live her life. I want her to just concentrate to be who she wants to be. I am praying always na sana hindi niya na kami need asikasuhin ni Alvin when she grows older. Lalo na si Anika, she doesn’t have siblings. Wala siyang katulong if ever.
Being a parent myself, it doesn’t feel right for me na umasa sa anak na buhayin ang mga magulang. Pagaaralin mo tapos magtratrabaho para buhayin ka? Parang may hindi tama di ba? They shouldn’t be obligated. There is no “payback” for raising them. Our responsibility is to raise them. That’s it. If they will help, it will out of their own will. It shouldn’t be required. Paano na yung pagbuo nila ng sarili nilang life kung ganun?
Sana nga, when I become older, as in lola levels, magkaron na sana tayo ng magagandang retirement homes here in the Philippines. I don’t want to live with Anika. Ayaw kong asikasuhin pa niya ako. Gusto ko yung dadalaw dalawin niya na lang ako. Ayaw kong maging pabigat sa kanya.
Again, baka iba na naman ang intindi ng mga bashers diyan. Kanya kanya tayong opinion about this. Ito ang sa akin as a parent. Meron din kayo. I’m not saying tama ako. Hindi naman sure na tama din kayo. So kanya kanya talagang belief yan.
Yung issue with Sarah, she was brought up well by her parents na maging mabait and masunurin. Trabaho lang ng trabaho. She didn’t mind that her mom fully managed her finances. She also helped put her siblings to school. Gumanda ng bonggang bongga yung buhay nila. My question is ang dami na nilang pera c/o Sarah. Naahon na sila ni Sarah sa kahirapan. Bakit kaya ayaw pa din siya i-let go and have a chance to live her life her way?
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Regarding my relationships naman, hindi masyado nakialam si Mama and Papa ko sa akin. Although there was one boy who came to my life na ayaw nila talaga. Papa put his foot down. Hindi ko yun ever napapunta sa house to meet him. Wowa gave him a chance for the sake na para mabantayan niya ako. Eventually we broke up. Wowa knows me to well and she knew hindi naman kami magtatagal. Apart from that, they never meddled with my lovelife. Si Wowa madaming side comments but never nakialam.
With Papa, I was teasing him. When I told him I was getting married, ni hindi niya na masyadong inusisa sino. He just congratulated me. He told me that he trusts me kasi. He trusts my choice. Alam daw niya hindi ako magpapa-abuso sa ibang tao and hindi ako magpapa-agrabyado. Thinking about it now, ang laki din ng tiwala niya sa akin given I’m the only daughter.
When it comes to Anika naman, I think makikialam ako. Hahahaha! However, I feel that I will be more lenient compared to Alvin kasi ayaw ko magtago yung bata sa akin ng secrets. Pero until she graduates college, I think I will always have a say sa choices niya in men. Hindi ko naman pagbabawalan although I’m praying sana after 18 years old na magboyfriend. If in case magka-boyfriend na, as long as ma-meet niya ang criteria ko (mabait, madasalin, family oriented, mahal ang nanay niya, hindi chickboy, hindi bastos, magalang, may ambition sa buhay), okay na with me as long as they follow my rules. Simple lang naman ang rules: sa bahay aakyat ng ligaw, no overnight trips, alam ko kung saan pupunta or saan ang lakwacha, susunod sa curfew, and studies ang priority. Tatalunin ko lang si Jaworksi sa pagbabantay sa kanya. Sorry, ang praning ko lang din talaga kasi and for sure, ako sisisihin ni Sombrero pagmay nangyari diyan (knock on wood). Pero hindi naman Mommy Divine levelz. Mommy Pinty (of the Gonzaga sisters) lang ang peg.
After college, bahala na siya sa buhay niya. Hahaha.
I know all these are easier said than done when my daughter falls in love. What I can assure is, at the end of the day, Anika will be the one to choose the one who she will love. Dadaanin ko na lang sa isang katutak na dasal na sana ang mapili niya is maayos and magpapasaya talaga sa kanya.
Yung kay Sarah naman, matanda na siya. I think her mom should have let her go na. At 31 years old, dapat confident na si mommy that she has raised her daughter well. Regarding naman the mom, personally, I cannot really blame her for being like that. Baka may takot pa talaga siya sa heart niya in letting her daughter go. Baka for her, even in that age, baka hindi pa ready si Sarah to get married. Remember, all a mother wants is her child’s happiness and ang makakabuti sa anak. I believe in that. They just show it in different ways.
Bow.
Post script:
I am sure it will work everything out between the mag-ina. Based on experience, a child cannot be fully happy din talaga if hindi sila okay ng parents niya. At any point in a person’s life, hahanapin at hahanapin niya ang nanay niya. And as a mom, hindi ko kaya tiisin ang anak ko. Mas pipiliin ko na lang na tanggapin the situation kaysa to live without her in my life.