Day 41 Enhanced Community Quarantine
May phone in question:
“How’s “US” time now with Alvin since Anika is sleeping in her own room na and you’re together 24/7?”
To tell you the truth, olats pa din.
I had my expectations, you know. Alvin and I are both working so madalang kami together in the house during the day. When we’re home naman at night, pagod and konti lang ang time spent with each other. Kahati pa yung time for Anika. So really, I had high expectations nung nagquarantine. Imagine, being together for 24/7?! And I had higher expectations when Anika decided that she’ll start sleeping na in her room. Todo ayos pa yung bagets ng room niya. Sabi ko, finally, may time na together alone para magkwentuhan and magjack en poy. Charot.
Kaso, wala.
Paano ba naman, kung nasan yung isa sa amin, nandun din yung dalawa.
One of the things I realized in this quarantine is that Alvin, Anika and I are subconsciously always drawn to each other. Parang for 10 years, kami lang talaga consistently magkasama so parang we have depended on each other. Parang hinahanap namin ang isa’t isa so that together kaming tatlo lagi.
Hindi ko din alam paano iexplain eh.
Ganito siguro.
For example, when Anika started sleeping in her room, Alvin and I would spend time with her in her room before she sleeps. Ganun kasi kami pag gabi eh. We convene in one part of our house. Consistent yan. Nagkukwentuhan, naghaharutan, nag-ge-games, nanonood ng TV together before sleeping. Nung start, makakatulog si Alvin sa floor ng room. I’d wake him up to transfer to our room once Anika falls asleep. Sometimes I’d fall asleep too and pagna-alimpungatan ako, dun ko lang gigising si Alvin to transfer in our room. Itutuloy na namin ang tulog namin when we are in our room.
Until, naglalatag na si Alvin sa floor ng bedroom ni Anika before bedtime tapos dun na din kaming dalawa natutulog.
*rolls eyes*
ANIKA: You guys keep telling me to sleep in my own room tapos you follow me and sleep here naman!
ME: Ewan ko ba. Bumili bili pa ako ng mahal na bed, sa lapag din pala kami matutulog.
So wala.
What I did was dun na ako sa room namin tumatambay after dinner. Nandun naman nagpupunta si Anika and Alvin. Dun kami nagspespend time before bedtime. Until inaayos na ni Anika yung pwesto niya sa bed namin and dun daw siya sleep.
Ganern.
I tried staying up late until Anika goes to sleep pero either nakakatulog na din ako or si Alvin ang nakakatulog. I wanted pa naman to have like a drinking session with him. Whiskey siya, ako wine or soju. Kaso wala talaga eh.
It’s wrong, I know. Married couples should make time for each other. Kaso wala eh. Especially ngayong quarantine. Hindi ko ba alam bakit wala kaming time mag-solo. We are always together, the three of us. If ever may gawin lang ako in the room then nasa sala si Alvin and Anika, I would hear Alvin asking Anika, “Where’s Nanay?”.
May mawala lang na isa, hahanapin na.
Clingy.
And Anika really asks us for attention. She’ll ask if we can play with her. She’ll ask if we can watch this particular show with her. Makikipagkwentuhan. Pagnagkukwentuhan kami ni Alvin, sisingit and makikisali din. The only time we are able to do separate things is when she’s in her gadget.
I think things would be a little different if only Anika had siblings. Hindi nakaka-guilty iwan siya by herself kasi hindi siya magiisa. We have made her our priority. It’s wrong, again, I know. Pero we don’t know how to do it in another way. When we reached the middle of the quarantine period, I stopped thinking and analyzing it. Napagod na din ako kakaisip. Sumasama minsan loob ko kaya instead of being stressed, hinayaan ko na lang. I stopped all expectations of being able to spend quality time alone.
I still continue to go to Alvin in the morning when he stays in the backyard for his coffee. I stay for a couple of minutes and then I start exercising. If he’s watching TV, I try to be interested in it para masabi lang na may ginagawa kami together. There are times though hindi ko talaga trip pinapanood niya like yung mga stressful movies na nakakatakot, nanonood na lang ako ng koreanovela ko sa iPad while he watches his movies.
I don’t know paano na pero you can’t say naman na Alvin and I are not okay in general. Tawanan kami ng tawanan when we are with Anika. In the morning, he hugs and kisses me when he wakes up. Automatic yun. When I wake up later than him, I go to him and automatic hug and kiss too. Before sleeping, I go to him to kiss him good night. If I forget and nakikita niya na matutulog na ako, he will say. “O kiss na!”. If I’m asleep na, I feel him kiss me and put a blanket on me before he sleeps. Paghindi ako makatulog, nangangalay na yan kaka-hilot ng head ko until I’m okay.
Pero wag kayo, nakaka-umay din to be together 24/7. Apir, sa mga kapwa ko mga wives out there! I know that you know what I mean. No matter how much we love our husbands, nakakaloka na sila sometimes. Napaka-kulit pa naman ng asawa ko and hindi ako maka-catch up sa mga kakulitan niya, also known as his Dolphy of John and Marsha moments. But I’m not complaining though. I am actually savoring the time that we are always together in our house. Ganun naman talaga dapat, me thinks. The quarantine is something we’ve never expected to happen. Staying home with our loved ones everyday for more than a month is something else. A lot of us prayed for additional time at home and more quality time with our family. Although hindi maganda ang naging cause bakit tayo na-quarantine, it’s inevitably here. We finally have more time with each other. We should just make the most of it kaysa reklamo ng reklamo.
I thank you. Bow.